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the line graph below shows change in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000 v.2

the line graph below shows change in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000 v. 2
the given chart gives information about the fastfood comsumption rates in three different categories which consumed by young people in Australia between 1975 and 2000. It can be concluded from the graph that there was a general upward trend in the consumption of both pizza and hamburger, while fish and chips consumption declined throughout the period of 25 years. in 1975, fish and chips was the most popular fastfood in Australia, with exactly 100 times eaten each year. this statistic for hamburger or pizza was very minimal, just around 5 and 10 times respectively. Over the next 10 years, hamburger saw a dramatic rise in the number of times consumed per year and reached at more than 80 times in 1985. The amount of pizza consumed also grew gradually in the same period before standing at over 30 times eaten at the same period, whereas the figures for fish and chips vary unremarkable. in the final 15 years, humberger consumption continued rising, but not significantly and remained unchanged at approximately 100 times eaten in 2000, about 20 times more than pizza. By contrast, there was a sharp decrease in the level of fish and chips, a decline to just under 40 times in the last year of the period.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
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given
chart gives information about the
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fastfood
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comsumption
rates in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories which consumed by young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Australia between 1975 and 2000.

It can
be concluded
from the graph that there was a general upward trend in the consumption of both pizza and hamburger, while fish and chips consumption declined throughout the
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period
of 25 years.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
1975, fish and chips was the most popular
Possible spelling mistake found.
fastfood
in Australia, with exactly 100
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times
eaten each
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year
.
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this
statistic for hamburger or pizza was
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very
minimal,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
around 5 and 10
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times
respectively
. Over the
next
10 years, hamburger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a dramatic rise in the number of
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times
consumed per
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year
and reached at more than 80
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times
in 1985. The amount of pizza consumed
also
grew
gradually
in the same
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period
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before
standing at over 30
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times
eaten at the same
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period
, whereas the figures for fish and chips vary unremarkable.

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in
the final 15 years,
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humberger
consumption continued rising,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
significantly
and remained unchanged at approximately 100
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times
eaten in 2000, about 20
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times
more than pizza. By contrast, there was a sharp decrease in the level of fish and chips, a decline to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
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IELTS academic the line graph below shows change in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
209 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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