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The line charts compare the number of people who emigrate and immigrate in the UK while the bar graph shows the net of migration between 1999 and 2008. v.2

The line charts compare the number of people who emigrate and immigrate in the UK while the bar graph shows the net of migration between 1999 and 2008. v. 2
The line charts compare the number of people who emigrate and immigrate in the UK while the bar graph shows the net of migration between 1999 and 2008. Overall, the figures for immigration were always higher than emigration, but both rates rose over 10 years. Besides, the net of migration fluctuated throughout the period. The numbers of immigration and emigration increased steadily from 450, 000 and 300, 000 people in 1999 to reach a peak of 600, 000 and around 400, 000 people in 2006, respectively. While the figure for immigration decreased slightly to just below 600, 000 people in 2008, the number of emigration dropped suddenly to around 350, 000 people in 2007 before grew again to the highest point of nearly 420, 000 people in 2008. From 1999 to 2003, the net migration slightly varied between 150, 000 and 180, 000 people. In the last 5 years, except the figure was around 180, 000 people in 2008, the other number always was higher than 200, 000 and reached a peak of 250, 000 people in 2004.
The line charts compare the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who emigrate and immigrate in the UK while the bar graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the net of migration between 1999 and 2008.

Overall
, the figures for immigration were always higher than emigration,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
both rates rose over 10 years.
Besides
, the net of migration fluctuated throughout the period.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of immigration and emigration increased
steadily
from 450, 000 and 300, 000
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people
in 1999 to reach a peak of 600, 000 and around 400, 000
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people
in 2006,
respectively
. While the figure for immigration decreased
slightly
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 600, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 2008, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of emigration dropped
suddenly
to around 350, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 2007
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
grew again to the highest point of
nearly
420, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 2008.

From 1999 to 2003, the net migration
slightly
varied between 150, 000 and 180, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In the last 5 years, except the figure was around 180, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 2008, the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
always was higher than 200, 000 and reached a peak of 250, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 2004.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS academic The line charts compare the number of people who emigrate and immigrate in the UK while the bar graph shows the net of migration between 1999 and 2008. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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