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The below chart gives information the data of immigration emigration and net migration in UK between 1999 and 2008 summarize the chart at least 150 words v.2

The below chart gives information the data of immigration emigration and net migration in UK between 1999 and 2008 summarize the chart at least 150 words v. 2
The chart illustrates the number of immigration, emigration and net migration in UK between 1999 and 2008. Overall, the data on immigration and emigration incresesd over the period shown, but the line of immigration was higher than emigration. And the figure for net migration in UK had a fluctuation from 1999 to 2008. It is clear that, in 1999, while a large amount of people who arrived in Uk reached about 450, 000, the number of people who wanted to leave UK just at 300, 000. The net migration was at about 160, 000 and still remained the data in the same level until 2004, it rose significantly at 250, 000. In the same time, the population came to UK was rapid growth nearly 600, 000, whereas the inhabitant had need to go away UK just climbed slightly, at 350, 000. After 2004, the sum of net migration in Uk decresed significantly, at around 160, 000 in 2008. While the people who was living in UK dropped, the citizens whished for coming UK still keeping around 600, 000 in 2008. The emigration had variation during 4 years later, dropped suddently at nearly 340, 000 before peaking at about 420, 000 people in 2008.
The chart illustrates the number of immigration, emigration and net
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migration
in UK between 1999 and 2008.

Overall
, the data on immigration and emigration
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incresesd
over the period shown,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the line of immigration was higher than emigration. And the figure for net
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
in UK had a fluctuation from 1999 to 2008.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, in 1999, while a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who arrived in
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Uk
reached about 450, 000, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
UK
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
at 300, 000. The net
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
was at about 160, 000 and
still
remained the data in the same level until 2004, it rose
significantly
at 250, 000. In the same time, the population came to UK was rapid growth
nearly
600, 000, whereas the inhabitant had need to go away UK
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
climbed
slightly
, at 350, 000.

After 2004, the sum of net
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uk
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decresed
significantly
, at around 160, 000 in 2008. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who was living in UK dropped, the citizens
Possible spelling mistake found.
whished
for coming UK
still
keeping around 600, 000 in 2008. The emigration had variation during 4 years later, dropped
Possible spelling mistake found.
suddently
at
nearly
340, 000
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
peaking at about 420, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 2008.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS academic The below chart gives information the data of immigration emigration and net migration in UK between 1999 and 2008 summarize the chart at least 150 words v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
203 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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