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The bar chart shows the percentage of the total world population in four countries in 1950 and 2002 and projections for 2050 v.1

The bar chart shows the percentage of the total world population in four countries in 1950 and 2002 and projections for 2050 v. 1
The chart compares the proportion of global population in four nations in two years 1950 and 2002, and also predictions for 2050. It is clear from the table that China and India have highest proportions of population in three years. Additionally, the figure for Japan is by far lowest during the research period. In 1950, the rate of the population in China was highest, at around 23%, while the figure for India was slightly lower, at 15%. About 7% of people in the world were from the USA, compared to only less than 5% from Japan. In 2002, the percentage of the Indian population rose slowly to approximately 17%, while China, the USA and Japan all witnessed declines in their figures. In 2050, it is predicted that the percentage of the Indian population will increase to nearly 20% and become the highest figure compared to other countries. By contrast, the population proportions of China and Japan are projected to decrease to 15% and about 2% respectively. In the same year, the figure for the USA is likely to remain the same, at 5%.
The chart compares the proportion of global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in four nations in two years 1950 and 2002, and
also
predictions for 2050.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the table that China and India have
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
proportions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in three years.
Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
is by far lowest during the research period.

In 1950, the rate of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in China was highest, at around 23%, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for India was
slightly
lower, at 15%. About 7% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the world were from the USA, compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
less than 5% from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
. In 2002, the percentage of the Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
rose
slowly
to approximately 17%, while China, the USA and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
all witnessed declines in their figures.

In 2050, it
is predicted
that the percentage of the Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
will increase to
nearly
20% and become the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
compared to other countries. By contrast, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
proportions of China and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
are projected
to decrease to 15% and about 2%
respectively
. In the same year, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for the USA is likely to remain the same, at 5%.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The bar chart shows the percentage of the total world population in four countries in 1950 and 2002 and projections for 2050 v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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