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The graphs below show the number of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the republic of Freedonia. v.2

The graphs below show the number of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the republic of Freedonia. v. 2
The provided line graph give information on a discrepancy between the number of male and female laborers in different sectors in Freedonia in two years: 1975 and 1995. As can be seen, initially, in 1975 men dominated in all given employment sectors; the discrepancy ranged from 20 people in communication sector to nearly 400 people in manufacturing. Then, 20 years later women outnumbered their counterparts in communication and trading; nevertheless, male employees remained dominant in most sectors. Interestingly, in such spheres as manufacturing and non-defence public sector the gap had been unaltered (the discrepancy was nearly 400 people and 200 people respectively). In contrast in other sectors the gap was reduced significantly. Overall, the gap between the number of male and female employees remained unchanged in some sectors in Freedonia for 20 years; however, the discrepancy in gender in most sectors was decreased minimising the gap; even women became dominant in the some sectors.
The provided line graph give information on a
discrepancy
between the number of male and female laborers in
different
sectors
in
Freedonia
in two years: 1975 and 1995.

As can be
seen
,
initially
, in 1975
men
dominated in all
given
employment
sectors
; the
discrepancy
ranged from 20
people
in communication
sector
to
nearly
400
people
in manufacturing. Then, 20 years later women outnumbered their counterparts in communication and trading;
nevertheless
, male employees remained dominant in most
sectors
.
Interestingly
, in such spheres as manufacturing and
non-defence
public
sector
the
gap
had
been unaltered
(the
discrepancy
was
nearly
400
people
and 200
people
respectively
). In
contrast
in other
sectors
the
gap
was
reduced
significantly
.

Overall
, the
gap
between the number of male and female employees remained unchanged in
some
sectors
in
Freedonia
for 20 years;
however
, the
discrepancy
in gender in most
sectors
was decreased
minimising
the
gap
; even women became dominant in the
some
sectors
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS academic The graphs below show the number of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the republic of Freedonia. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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