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The chart below show the percentage of fatal accidents by locations in a European country. The survey was conducted in 2000. v.2

The chart below show the percentage of fatal accidents by locations in a European country. The survey was conducted in 2000. v. 2
The given bar chart provides information on the rural and urban percentage of fatal accidents in a European country in the year 2000. The chart showed that in rural areas, with high speed limits, the intensity of life taking crashes was very high. Speed limit of 30 mph or less caused around 24℅ fatal accidents, which was the least, followed by 35-40 mph limit where the mortality caused was about 31℅. In case of 45-50 mph, the percentage of death causing accidents was nearly 50℅. However, it soared to 81℅ when the speed limit was 55 mph but surprisingly, in the case of 60 mph or more the fatal crash proportion was lesser and at nearly 70℅. The scene in urban areas is almost the opposite, at 30 mph or less speed, death causing accidents stood at 75℅, whereas at 36-40 mph it was at 68℅. In case of 45-50 mph, it was at 52℅ and it shrunk to 18℅ at 55 mph and then it increased to almost 28℅ at 60 mph or more. The bar chart reveals that chances of mortality were higher at high speed in countryside, contrary to city area where more chances of casualty were noted at lesser speeds.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart provides information on the rural and urban percentage of fatal
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accidents
in a European country in the year 2000.

The chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that in rural areas, with high
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speed
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limits
, the intensity of life taking crashes was
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very
high.
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Speed
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limit
of
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30 mph
or less caused around 24℅ fatal
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accidents
, which was the least, followed by 35
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-40 mph
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limit
where the mortality caused was about 31℅. In case of 45
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-50 mph
, the percentage of death causing
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accidents
was
nearly
50℅.
However
, it soared to 81℅ when the
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speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
was
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55 mph
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
surprisingly
, in the case of
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
60 mph
or more the fatal crash proportion was lesser and at
nearly
70℅.

The scene in urban areas is almost the opposite, at
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
30 mph
or less
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speed
, death causing
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accidents
stood at 75℅, whereas at 36
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-40 mph
it was at 68℅. In case of 45
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
-50 mph
, it was at 52℅ and it shrunk to 18℅ at
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
55 mph
and then it increased to almost 28℅ at
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
60 mph
or more.

The bar chart reveals that chances of mortality were higher at high
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speed
in countryside, contrary to city area where more chances of casualty
were noted
at lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speeds
.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below show the percentage of fatal accidents by locations in a European country. The survey was conducted in 2000. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
204 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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