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The graph below gives information about the main purposes of overseas residents' visit to the UK between 2000 and 2016. v.1

The graph below gives information about the main purposes of overseas residents' visit to the UK between 2000 and 2016. v. 1
The line graph outlines people’s main purposes to travel to the United Kingdom between 2000 and 2016. As can be seen, enjoying holidays, meeting friends and relatives and business needs were the foremost reasons people from different countries went to the UK during the period and those travellers’ number grew over the time. As the diagram suggests, almost 10 million holiday seekers travelled to the UK in 2000 while roughly 7 million went there for business purposes. Around 6 million travelled to the country to meet someone while another 3 million went to the UK for numerous other purposes. 2 million holiday seekers added to the list and after a decade nearly 12 million holiday seekers visited the UK. During this time, around 6 million business people, 8. 5 million ordinary travellers to meet people reached the country. It is interesting to notice that the total travellers' number in 2016 was almost 10 million higher than that of 2000 and the highest number of people in 2016 travelled to the United Kingdom to enjoy their vacations. Moreover, the number of people who went there to meet relatives of friends also developed significantly.
The line graph outlines
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people’s
main purposes to travel to the United Kingdom between 2000 and 2016. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, enjoying
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holidays
, meeting friends and relatives and business needs were the foremost reasons
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people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries
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went
to the UK during the period and those
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travellers
’
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number
grew over the time.

As the diagram suggests, almost 10
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million
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holiday
seekers travelled to the UK in 2000 while roughly 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
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went
there for business purposes. Around 6
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million
travelled to the country to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
someone while another 3
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to the UK for numerous other purposes. 2
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million
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holiday
seekers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the list and after a decade
nearly
12
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
seekers visited the UK. During this time, around 6
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million
business
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people
, 8. 5
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million
ordinary
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
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people
reached the country. It is interesting to notice that the total
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
'
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number
in 2016 was almost 10
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million
higher than that of 2000 and the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 2016 travelled to the United Kingdom to enjoy their vacations.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
there to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
relatives of friends
also
developed
significantly
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
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IELTS academic The graph below gives information about the main purposes of overseas residents' visit to the UK between 2000 and 2016. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
192 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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