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The graph below shows the unemployment rates in two European countries since 2000 and predicted unemployment rates until 2020. v.2

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in two European countries since 2000 and predicted unemployment rates until 2020. v. 2
The graph represents the percentage of labour force rates in Spain and France from 2000 to 2020. Overall, the unemployment rates in France were relatively stable within the graph given. Comparatively, Spanish people who were out of work are expected to increase by 2020. Looking in details, about 2. 2% of people from Spain were unemployed in 2000 which figure was almost doubled the unemployment in France (about 5. 8%). Between 2005 and 2010, the unemployment rates increased substantially from 4% to 10%, exceeding the percentage in France, which had showed a slight increase from 5. 2% to 6. 5% at the same time. After that, there was a continuous increase in the percentage of unemployment rates in Spain to reach at above 12% in 2015, the proportion in France with unemployment remained unchanged at this time. Spain will have the highest unemployment rates in 2020 (about 11%), whilst French unemployment rate is expected to be same at 5. 8%.
The graph represents the percentage of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
force
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rates
in Spain and France from 2000 to 2020.

Overall
, the
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unemployment
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rates
in France were
relatively
stable within the graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.
Comparatively
, Spanish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who were out of work are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to increase by 2020.

Looking in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, about 2. 2% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from Spain
were unemployed
in 2000 which figure was almost doubled the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
in France (about 5. 8%). Between 2005 and 2010, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
increased
substantially
from 4% to 10%, exceeding the percentage in France, which had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a slight increase from 5. 2% to 6. 5% at the same time. After that, there was a continuous increase in the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
in Spain to reach at above 12% in 2015, the proportion in France with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
remained unchanged at this time. Spain will have the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
in 2020 (about 11%), whilst French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be same at 5. 8%.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below shows the unemployment rates in two European countries since 2000 and predicted unemployment rates until 2020. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
160 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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