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The graph below depicts the percentage change in average house prices in five cities from 1990 to 2002 compared with 1989. v.1

The graph below depicts the percentage change in average house prices in five cities from 1990 to 2002 compared with 1989. v. 1
The diagram illustrates how many changes (in percentages) of average house prices were separated into five different cities between 1990 and 2002 in comparison to the year of 1989. It is immediately apparent that all cities’ figure witnessed an upward trend relatively in average house prices, except Frankfurt (Germany), during over 12-year period. Regarding the price of houses from 1990 to 1995, it is clearly seen that Tokyo, London, and New York (USA) experienced a similar change. While the two formers declined significantly by about 8% -the greatest proportion change in average house prices- for each, the latter saw a noticeable decrease by around 5% during this period. Then, the exception was for Madrid and Frankfurt which increased slightly of roughly 2s % -the smallest percentage in this section. Turning to the house cost six years later, there was a dramatic increase, rising by nearly 20% during the year of 1996 to 2002. Likewise, the timeframe witnessed a slight growth in the percentage change of house price in New York (USA), Madrid, and Tokyo, reaching of 5%, 2%, and 2% respectively. However, Frankfurt saw a gradual dropped to 0. 5% at the end of the period.
The diagram illustrates how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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changes
(in percentages) of average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
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prices
were separated
into five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cities between 1990 and 2002
in comparison
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of 1989. It is immediately apparent that all cities’ figure witnessed an upward trend
relatively
in average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
, except Frankfurt (Germany), during over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
12-year
period.

Regarding the
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price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
from 1990 to 1995, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that Tokyo, London, and New York (USA) experienced a similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. While the two
Possible spelling mistake found.
formers
declined
significantly
by about 8% -the
A determiner is probably missing here: "the greatest".
greatest
proportion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices-
for each, the latter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a noticeable decrease by around 5% during this period. Then, the exception was for Madrid and Frankfurt which increased
slightly
of roughly 2s % -the
A determiner is probably missing here: "the smallest".
smallest
percentage in this section.

Turning to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
cost six years later, there was a dramatic increase, rising by
nearly
20% during the
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year
of 1996 to 2002.
Likewise
, the timeframe witnessed a slight growth in the percentage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
in New York (USA), Madrid, and Tokyo, reaching of 5%, 2%, and 2%
respectively
.
However
, Frankfurt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a gradual dropped to 0. 5% at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS academic The graph below depicts the percentage change in average house prices in five cities from 1990 to 2002 compared with 1989. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
196 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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