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The graph below shows the number of complaints made about noise to Environmental Health authorities in the city of Newtown between 1980 and 1996. v.2

The graph below shows the number of complaints made about noise to Environmental Health authorities in the city of Newtown between 1980 and 1996. v. 2
The line graph compares the amount of noise complaints to environment health authorities made by people. This data has been collected during a period of 16 years in Newtown city. In 1980, the traffic noise started from 300 complaints per year and it stabilises until it plummeted to a low point of 200 in 1986 till 1988, then it made a peak in 1992 and continued to rose steadily until the end of 1996. On the other hand, the number of complaints about heavy industries started its growth from 400 complaints in 1980 and had steeply increased three years on, since that time it remained reasonably stable during the next 13 years. Although, road works started at a high point of 600 at the beginning of 1980, from 1980 onwards it declined steadily to a point of 70, respectively. However, it fluctuated slightly through the time between 1982 and 1996.   It can be seen that domestic household had the bigger complaints amount at the end of 1996 of point 1200, even though it began at 500 in 1980. The main summary that can be drawn from the graphs is that the bigger number of complaints noise to environments health authorities were domestic household and road works. They began to increase about 20% in the course of next 6 years.
The line graph compares the amount of noise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complaints
to environment health authorities made by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This data has
been collected
during a period of 16 years in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Newtown
city.

In 1980, the traffic noise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from 300
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complaints
per
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year
and it
Possible spelling mistake. 'stabilises' is British English.
stabilises
until it plummeted to a low
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point
of 200 in 1986 till 1988, then it made a peak in 1992 and continued to rose
steadily
until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 1996.
On the other hand
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complaints
about heavy industries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
its growth from 400
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complaints
in 1980 and had
steeply
increased three years on, since that time it remained
reasonably
stable during the
next
13 years.

Although, road works
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of 600 at the beginning of 1980, from 1980 onwards it declined
steadily
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of 70,
respectively
.
However
, it fluctuated
slightly
through the time between 1982 and 1996.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that domestic household had the bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complaints
amount at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 1996 of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
1200,
even though
it began at 500 in 1980.

The main summary that can
be drawn
from the graphs is that the bigger number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complaints
noise to environments health authorities were domestic household and road works. They began to increase about 20% in the course of
next
6 years.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below shows the number of complaints made about noise to Environmental Health authorities in the city of Newtown between 1980 and 1996. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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