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The graph below shows the fertility rate of women in different Gulf Countries from 1990 to 2000. v.2

The graph below shows the fertility rate of women in different Gulf Countries from 1990 to 2000. v. 2
The given bar chart compares the fertility rates of women from six Gulf countries in 1990 and 2000. As is observed from the given data, the fertility rate has decreased over the decade and women of Oman and Saudi Arabia had a higher fertility rate than women of other Gulf countries. According to the bar graph, initially in 1990, the fertility rates (childbirth per thousand women of a certain age range) in Bahrain, Kuwait, Qatar and the UAE were from 3-4. Women from Oman and Saudi Arabia had a fertility rate of more than 6 in this same year. After ten years, this rate reduced in all of the given 6 countries. This indicates the less fertility rate of the women of the Gulf countries. The declination maintained a radio for each country and in the year 2000, the women from Oman and Saudi Arabia had a higher fertility rate than the women in other four Gulf countries. In summary, the childbirth per thousand women, which is also known as the fertility rate, in the Gulf countries decreased over the time.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart compares the
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fertility
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
from six Gulf
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in 1990 and 2000. As
is observed
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
data, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fertility
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
has decreased over the decade and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
of Oman and Saudi Arabia had a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fertility
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
of other Gulf countries.

According to the bar graph,
initially
in 1990, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fertility
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
(childbirth per thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
of a certain age range) in Bahrain, Kuwait, Qatar and the UAE were from 3-4.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
from Oman and Saudi Arabia had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fertility
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of more than 6 in this same year. After ten years, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in
Consider using "all the".
all of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This indicates the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fertility
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
of the Gulf
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The declination maintained a radio for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and in the year 2000, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
from Oman and Saudi Arabia had a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fertility
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in other four Gulf countries.

In summary, the childbirth per thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, which is
also
known as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fertility
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
, in the Gulf
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
decreased over the time.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the fertility rate of women in different Gulf Countries from 1990 to 2000. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
181 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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