Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. v.2

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. v. 2
The given line graph compares the proportion of unemployed people in the US and Japan through the period from March 1993 to March 1999. It is obvious that the unemployment rates of these two countries changed oppositely. The percentage of the US tended to decrease over the years. However, at the same time, unfortunately, Japan witnessed the rapid growth in the rates. Nevertheless, in 1999, both nations almost had the same percentage, which means the lowest figures of the US were equal to the highest ones of Japan. In March 1993, the proportion of unemployment in the US was a bit off 7% whereas that of Japan was about 2. 5%. It was marked in 1998 when Japan's rate reached the highest point of approximately 5. 2%. The contradiction happened to the US: its rate went to the lowest of 4. 8%. Although the processes of figures changing of these countries were totally opposite, the last numbers, amazingly, turned out to be extremely close. In March 1999, the rates of unemployment in the USA and Japan stood still at about 5. 1% and 4. 9% respectively.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph compares the proportion of unemployed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the US and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
through the period from March 1993 to March 1999. It is obvious that the unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
of these two countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
oppositely
.

The percentage of the US tended to decrease over the years.
However
, at the same time, unfortunately,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
witnessed the rapid growth in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
.
Nevertheless
, in 1999, both nations almost had the same percentage, which means the lowest figures of the US were equal to the highest ones of Japan.

In March 1993, the proportion of unemployment in the US was a bit off 7% whereas that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
was about 2. 5%. It
was marked
in 1998 when Japan's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
reached the highest point of approximately 5. 2%. The contradiction happened to the US: its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
went to the lowest of 4. 8%.

Although the processes of figures changing of these countries were
totally
opposite, the last numbers,
amazingly
, turned out to be
extremely
close. In March 1999, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
of unemployment in the USA and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
stood
still
at about 5. 1% and 4. 9%
respectively
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts