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The graph below shows the average daily spending of three categories of international visitor to New Zealand from 1997 to 2017. v.2

The graph below shows the average daily spending of three categories of international visitor to New Zealand from 1997 to 2017. v. 2
The chart illustrates the average expenditure of three sectors of overseas tourists to New Zealand on a daily basis over a 20-year period starting from 1997. Overall, it is immediately clear that the figures for holiday and visiting friends or relatives increased considerably during the given period, while the opposite was true for business. In addition, business was the highest spending of international visitors most of the given period. Looking at the chart in detail, in 1997, the highest figure belonged to business, at around $260, which was followed by the amounts of money spent on holiday and visiting friends or relatives each day, at nearly $190 and $110, respectively. 3 years later, all kinds of spending witnessed a significant growth before undergoing some fluctuations during the following years. The spending of business saw the largest drop to $180 in 2005, which was even lower than that for holiday, at $200. During the rest of the period, these figures continued fluctuating from $160 to $260. The amount of money foreign visitors spent on business hit a low at $150 in 2014, then recovered and rose to $260 after 2 years. Its counterpart, namely holiday, ended up with the highest spending of overseas tourists in 2017, at $245. Finally, the remaining category kept its lowest place stably over the period despite some minor ups and downs.
The chart illustrates the average expenditure of three sectors of overseas tourists to New Zealand on a daily basis over a
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20-year
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period
starting from 1997.

Overall
, it is immediately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the figures for
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holiday
and visiting friends or relatives increased
considerably
during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
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period
, while the opposite was true for
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business
.
In addition
,
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business
was the highest
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spending
of international visitors most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.

Looking at the chart in detail, in 1997, the highest figure belonged to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, at around $260, which
was followed
by the amounts of money spent on
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holiday
and visiting friends or relatives each day, at
nearly
$190 and $110,
respectively
. 3 years later, all kinds of
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spending
witnessed a significant growth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
undergoing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations during the following years. The
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spending
of
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business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the largest drop to $180 in 2005, which was even lower than that for
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holiday
, at $200. During the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
, these figures continued fluctuating from $160 to $260. The amount of money foreign visitors spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
hit a low at $150 in 2014, then recovered and rose to $260 after 2 years. Its counterpart,
namely
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holiday
, ended up with the highest
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spending
of overseas tourists in 2017, at $245.
Finally
, the remaining category
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
its lowest place
stably
over the
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period
despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
minor ups and downs.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the average daily spending of three categories of international visitor to New Zealand from 1997 to 2017. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
225 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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