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The graph below shows the average cost of housing in three different areas. v.1

The graph below shows the average cost of housing in three different areas. v. 1
The bar graph compares the average cost of housing in rural, suburban and urban areas in 1990 and 2000. A glance at the graph reveals that housing costs more than doubled in just 10 years. Getting back to details, costs of housing in all areas – urban, suburban and rural areas increased significantly from 1990 to 2000. However, the cost of housing in rural areas did not increase that much compared to the soaring prices in urban and suburban areas. The urban housing costs doubled in a decade and cost of housing in suburban areas increased a great deal. In contrast to those soaring prices, the rural cost for housing went up in a smaller proportion. Like the city areas, it increased but not that much. In 1990, housing cost in the rural area was 75 thousand dollar and it reached to 125 thousand in 10 years. During the same period, housing costs in suburban places ascended to 275 thousand dollars from just hundred thousand in a decade earlier. Finally, the housing price in metropolitan areas went as high as 300 thousand dollars in 2000 from half of that a decade age.
The bar graph compares the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of housing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
,
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suburban
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in 1990 and 2000. A glance at the graph reveals that housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
more than doubled in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
10 years.

Getting back to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
of housing in all
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areas
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
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urban
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suburban
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
increased
significantly
from 1990 to 2000.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of housing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
did not increase that much compared to the soaring prices in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suburban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
doubled in a decade and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of housing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suburban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
increased a great deal.
In contrast
to those soaring prices, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
for housing went up in a smaller proportion. Like the city
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areas
, it increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not that much. In 1990, housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
was 75 thousand
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".
dollar
and it reached to 125 thousand in 10 years. During the same period, housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suburban
places ascended to 275 thousand dollars from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
hundred thousand in a decade earlier.
Finally
, the housing price in metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
went as high as 300 thousand dollars in 2000 from half of that a decade age.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The graph below shows the average cost of housing in three different areas. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
192 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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