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Grandparents take care of children when their parents are out of work what are the advantages and possible disadvantages of this v.1

Grandparents take care of children when their parents are out of work what are the advantages and possible disadvantages of this v. 1
In this epoch, both parents are busy in their hectic schedule of work to earn more money for the swiftly growing financial requirements. So, usually grandparents take care of their grandchildren when they are at job. Although there are certain disadvantages associated with this approach, the upsides in this case seems to be heavier than downsides. To embark, this trend have it share of drawbacks. For one, the generation gap is created and old people cannot develop understanding with the children. Moreover, this leads to awful precedent and results conflict in relationship. Another negative aspect is physical health limitation in old people. For example, kid of age 9 years wants to play soccer with grandpa but unfortunately grandpa don' t have that much enthusiasm to cope up with younger one. Despite these drawbacks; however, a stronger case of taking care results. To Elaborate, grandparents always motivate children to move in a right direction in their career. Owning to this, they always encourage the child to study instead of doing useless activities like watching TV and surfing internet for long time. It can also be argued that grandparents are the best friends as well as teacher. This is because they teach the child how to judge disparity between what is wrong or right with the help of their experienced eyes. In addition to that, children can share their feelings and emotions with them. Finally, adolescents are more safe at home with old people since they spent full day at home with them. In conclusion, while there are certain cons to this approach, it is largely beneficial as it helps to ease loneliness in home and prevents from uncertainties.
In this epoch, both parents are busy in their hectic schedule of work to earn more money for the
swiftly
growing financial requirements.
So
,
usually
grandparents take care of their grandchildren when they are at job. Although there are certain disadvantages associated with this approach, the upsides
in this case
seems to be heavier than downsides.

To embark,
this trend have
it share of drawbacks. For one, the generation gap
is created
and
old
people
cannot develop understanding with the children.
Moreover
, this leads to awful precedent and results conflict in relationship. Another
negative
aspect is physical health limitation in
old
people
.
For example
, kid of age 9 years wants to play soccer with grandpa
but
unfortunately grandpa
don&
#039; t have that much enthusiasm to cope up with younger one.

Despite these drawbacks;
however
, a stronger case of taking care results. To Elaborate, grandparents always motivate children to
move
in a right direction in their career. Owning to this, they always encourage the child to study
instead
of doing useless activities like watching TV and surfing internet for long time. It can
also
be argued
that grandparents are the best friends
as well
as teacher. This is
because
they teach the child how to judge disparity between what is
wrong
or right with the
help
of their experienced eyes.
In addition
to that, children can share their feelings and emotions with them.
Finally
, adolescents are more safe at home with
old
people
since they spent full day at home with them.

In conclusion
, while there are certain cons to this approach, it is
largely
beneficial as it
helps
to
ease
loneliness in home and
prevents
from uncertainties.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS academic Grandparents take care of children when their parents are out of work what are the advantages and possible disadvantages of this v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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