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The table below shows social and economic indicators for countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics. v.2

The table below shows social and economic indicators for countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics. v. 2
The table compares four countries in terms of social and economic factors in the years 1994, based on United Nations statistics. It is clear that Canada and Japan had the biggest figures. Additionally, the data of Zaire was by far lowest in the four countries. As can be seen from the table, the average income of Japanese on a yearly basis was highest with 15760 USD, followed by that of Canada with 11100 USD. In comparison, the figures for Peru and Zaire were just around 1% that of Japan. While life expectancy in Canada and Japan were 76 and 78 years respectively, those of the remaining countries were roughly 49 years. Regarding the rest indicators, Canada had the highest data for daily calorie supply per capita at 3326 calories, compared to Japan at 2846 calories. Meanwhile, this average indicator of both Peru and Zaire was around 1800 calories. In terms of adult literacy rate, Canada and Japan had the same percentage at 99%, as opposed to Zaire which this proportion was just over three times lower that of Canada and Japan. Also, this rate of Peru was at 68%, which doubled the data of Zaire.
The table compares four countries in terms of social and economic factors in the years 1994, based on United Nations statistics.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that Canada and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
had the biggest figures.
Additionally
, the data of Zaire was by far lowest in the four countries.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the table, the average income of Japanese on a yearly basis was highest with 15760 USD, followed by that of Canada with 11100 USD.
In comparison
, the figures for Peru and Zaire were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
around 1% that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
. While life expectancy in Canada and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
were 76 and 78 years
respectively
, those of the remaining countries were roughly 49 years.

Regarding the rest indicators, Canada had the highest data for daily calorie supply per capita at 3326 calories, compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
at 2846 calories. Meanwhile, this average indicator of both Peru and Zaire was around 1800 calories. In terms of adult literacy rate, Canada and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
had the same percentage at 99%, as opposed to Zaire which this proportion was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over three times lower that of Canada and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
.
Also
, this rate of Peru was at 68%, which doubled the data of Zaire.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS academic The table below shows social and economic indicators for countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
195 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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