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The graph below shows four countries of residence of overseas students in Australia. v.2

The graph below shows four countries of residence of overseas students in Australia. v. 2
The line graph reveals data on the changes in the number of International students from four different countries living in Australia from 1982 to 2000. What stands out from the graph is that the number of students living in Australia increased for each country and Hong Kong was as the majority of students in 2000. More specifically, in the first year, there were no foreign students from three countries excepting Malaysia. However, there was a gradual rise in the number of students in both Hong Kong and Malaysia which had a similar number at 10 in 1000s students in 1994. Moreover, there was almost a treble rise for the number of students from Hong Kong within less than 30 in 1000s lived in Australia. On the other hand, the number of Indonesian remained stable at zero during the first three years and it reached a peak at almost 20 in 1000s students in 1998. Meanwhile, there was slight growth for students from Singapore throughout the years by reaching double rise within 20 in 1000s students in 2000.
The line graph reveals data on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries living in Australia from 1982 to 2000. What stands out from the graph is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
living in Australia increased for each country and Hong Kong was as the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in 2000.

More
specifically
, in the
first
year, there were no foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from three countries excepting Malaysia.
However
, there was a gradual rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in both Hong Kong and Malaysia which had a similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
at 10
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1000s".
in 1000s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in 1994.
Moreover
, there was almost a treble rise for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from Hong Kong within less than 30
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1000s".
in 1000s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in Australia.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of Indonesian remained stable at zero during the
first
three years and it reached a peak at almost 20
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1000s".
in 1000s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in 1998. Meanwhile, there was slight growth for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from Singapore throughout the years by reaching double rise within 20
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1000s".
in 1000s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in 2000.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below shows four countries of residence of overseas students in Australia. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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