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The graph below show the different mode of transport used to travel to and from work in 1960, 1980 and 2000. v.2

The graph below show the different mode of transport used to travel to and from work in 1960, 1980 and 2000. v. 2
The given bar graph represent information about various modes of transport used by passengers in years: 1960, 1980, 2000 respectively. The data is calibrated in per-centum. It is clear and coherent representation. Overall, it is evident that; in 1960, plethora of people used bus, but in 2000 cars were the first choice. Furthermore, in 1980 train and bus. On other hand, car and tube show equal proportion It can be seen, by comparing train and car as a transport facility in three different years. it is depicted that, in 1960 train was highly used by people about 18% while, car was only 15%. In addition to this, in year 1980; availability of train is 5% more than car. Furthermore, during 2000, car was at its highest peak represent approximate 38% as compare to train that is 22% only. As far as trend was concerned, by comparing transport facility such as: tube and bus it seems that people give more priority to bus than tube. Its percentage was shown in bar graph 38%, 28% respectively. Moreover, in 1980 and 2000 bus was used 8 percent more than tube, but in 2000 tube preference reached at 25% while, bus was only 15% used by people.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph represent information about various modes of transport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by passengers in years: 1960, 1980, 2000
respectively
. The data
is calibrated
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
per-centum
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
and coherent representation.

Overall
, it is evident that; in 1960, plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
bus,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
were the
first
choice.
Furthermore
, in 1980
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
and bus. On other hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tube
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
equal
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
proportion


It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, by comparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
as a transport facility in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is depicted
that, in 1960
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
was
highly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about 18% while,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15%.
In addition
to this, in year 1980; availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
is 5% more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
Furthermore
, during 2000,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
was at its highest peak represent approximate 38% as compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
that is
22%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

As far as trend
was concerned
, by comparing transport facility such as:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tube
and bus it seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give more priority to bus than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tube
. Its percentage
was shown
in bar graph 38%, 28%
respectively
.
Moreover
, in 1980 and 2000 bus was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
8 percent more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tube
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tube
preference reached at 25% while, bus was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The graph below show the different mode of transport used to travel to and from work in 1960, 1980 and 2000. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
203 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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