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The graph below gives information from a 2006 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030. v.2

The graph below gives information from a 2006 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030. v. 2
The graph represents the six different types of energies (petrol and oil, coal, natural gas, nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower) used in the US from 1980 to 2008 and the prediction to 2030. Overall, all the energy consumption has been increasing constantly especially with petrol and oil are expected to be remained with dominant usages in the USA while alternative energy sources (nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower) have showed the incremental trend but the prediction is recorded at the same level. Petrol and oil was the common energy sources in the US in 1980 as this consumption was recorded at 35 quadrillion units (q) and this usage continued to increase despite the periodic fluctuation in 1985 and 1995, to reach at about 40 q by 2008. In contrast, coal and natural gas were the next commonly used energy sources which had 20q and 15q respectively in the year of 1980 which usage increased steadily to record at about 22q for both in 2008. Meanwhile, the lowest energy sources were the alternative energy sources and it started at approximately 4q usages growing to close to 5q by 2008. From 2008 and onward, the petrol and oil will be remained the same at its dominance usages of over 50q, coal will be increased with its usage to 30q and the prediction for natural gas is remained unchanged at 25q until 2030. Similarly, nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower are expected to have the same usage as those of 2008 (of 5q).
The graph represents the six
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different
types of
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energies
(petrol and
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oil
, coal, natural gas, nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the US from 1980 to 2008 and the prediction to 2030.

Overall
, all the
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energy
consumption has been increasing
constantly
especially
with petrol and
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oil
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
be remained
with dominant
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usages
in the USA while alternative
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energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
(nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower) have
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showed
the incremental trend
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but
the prediction
is recorded
at the same level.

Petrol and
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oil
was the common
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energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
in the US in 1980 as this consumption
was recorded
at 35 quadrillion units (q) and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
continued to increase despite the periodic fluctuation in 1985 and 1995, to reach at about 40 q by 2008.

In contrast
, coal and natural gas were the
next
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
which had 20q and 15q
respectively
in the year of 1980 which
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usage
increased
steadily
to record at about 22q for both in 2008. Meanwhile, the lowest
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energy
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sources
were the alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
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sources
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at approximately 4q
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usages
growing to close to 5q by 2008.

From 2008 and onward, the petrol and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
will
be remained
the same at its dominance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usages
of over 50q, coal will
be increased
with its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
to 30q and the prediction for natural gas
is remained
unchanged at 25q until 2030.
Similarly
, nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to have the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
as those of 2008 (of 5q).
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS academic The graph below gives information from a 2006 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030. v. 2

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
245 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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