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The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030. v.2

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030. v. 2
The given bar graph compares the consumption of energy in the USA from 1980 and also gives a projection of it till the year 2030. As is presented in the graph, petrol and oil were the main two sources of energy while the use of coal would increase in the coming years. As is presented in the line graph, initially in 1980 35 quadrillion units of oil and petrol energy was consumed in the USA while 15-20 quadrillion units each of coal and natural gas was consumed. In this year less than 5 quadrillion energy got from nuclear, solar and hydropower was consumed. The consumption of all of these energy sources kept on increasing with some fluctuations. It is projected that in 2030 the consumption of petrol and oil will reach to over 50 quadrillion units while coal and natural gas’s consumption will reach from 20 to 30 quadrillions. The consumption of nuclear, solar/ wind and hydropower will also increase and would reach to over 5 quadrillion units. In 2030, oil and petrol would be mostly consumed to get energy while in the second most consumed energy source would be coals.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph compares the
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consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in the USA from 1980 and
also
gives a projection of it till the year 2030. As
is presented
in the graph,
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petrol
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
were the main two sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
while the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of coal would increase in the coming years.

As
is presented
in the line graph,
initially
in 1980 35 quadrillion units of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
was
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consumed
in the USA while 15-20 quadrillion units each of coal and natural gas was
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consumed
. In this year less than 5 quadrillion
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energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
from nuclear, solar and hydropower was
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consumed
. The
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consumption
of all of these
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energy
sources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on increasing with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations. It
is projected
that in 2030 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
will reach to over 50 quadrillion units while coal and natural gas’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
will reach from 20 to 30 quadrillions. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of nuclear, solar/ wind and hydropower will
also
increase and would reach to over 5 quadrillion units.

In 2030,
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oil
and
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petrol
would be
mostly
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consumed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
while in the second most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
source would be coals.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
191 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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