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The chart shows the changes in three different areas of Manchester City Centre from 2003-2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevent. v.2

The chart shows the changes in three different areas of Manchester City Centre from 2003-2012.
The line chart elucidates three different aspects of criminal activities, namely burglary, car theft, and robbery, at the Manchester City Centre over a decade, from 2003-2012. Overall, it can be construed that there has been a significant decline in the number of burglaries, whereas, when we talk about the car theft, we can see a steady increase while robbery remained the same over the period at the City Centre. As can be seen, the number of burglaries reached its peak in the year 2004 (approximately 3750) after which it experienced a telling decline over the next 4 years. The number of Car thefts remained steady until the year 2008 after which there was a continuous increase and amount reached almost 2800 at the end of the period. While the measure of robbery remained the same throughout the decade, It did experience a little growth in the year 2005 when it reached almost 900. But, at the end of the period, it again came down to the same point from where it started, i. e. 600.
The line chart elucidates three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects of criminal activities,
namely
burglary, car theft, and robbery, at the Manchester City
Possible spelling mistake. 'Centre' is British English.
Centre
over a decade, from 2003-2012.

Overall
, it can
be construed
that there has been a significant decline in the number of burglaries, whereas, when we talk about the car theft, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a steady increase while robbery remained the same over the period at the City
Possible spelling mistake. 'Centre' is British English.
Centre
.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, the number of burglaries reached its peak in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2004 (approximately 3750) after which it experienced a telling decline over the
next
4 years. The number of Car thefts remained steady until the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2008 after which there was a continuous increase and amount reached almost 2800 at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

While the measure of robbery remained the same throughout the decade, It did experience a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
growth in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005 when it reached almost 900.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period, it again came down to the same point from where it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
,
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
600.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
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IELTS academic The chart shows the changes in three different areas of Manchester City Centre from 2003-2012.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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