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The chart below shows the type of transports young people in four countries prefer to use. v.1

The chart below shows the type of transports young people in four countries prefer to use. v. 1
The column graph outlines the transportation preference among the young people in Great Britain, USA, Germany and France. As an overall trend, the young generation, except in Germany, mainly like to use the car as a mean of commuting and this ratio is the highest in France. To illustrate, six out of ten British youth favour cars to travel. Less than one-third of them use bicycles and only one of ten youth in the UK pick motorbike to commute. A similar ratio of US adolescents (precise 60%) prefers cars but their preference for motorbikes is higher than that of the UK, 30% to be exact. However, less percentage of American youngsters prefers riding bicycles, only one out of ten. Germany shows an interesting trend where almost half of the adolescents like to ride a bicycle, a trend uncommon in other countries. 40% of them choose cars as their transportation and the rest of them inclined to use motorbikes. Finally, the highest percentage of car-loving youngs are located in France, where around 2 out of 3 adolescent fancy cars over other vehicles. Around 10% French youth use bicycle and a similar percentage ride on motorized bikes.
The column graph outlines the transportation preference among the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Great Britain, USA, Germany and France. As an
overall
trend, the young generation, except in Germany,
mainly
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
as a mean of commuting and this ratio is the highest in France.

To illustrate, six out of ten British youth
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to travel. Less than one-third of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one of ten youth in the UK pick motorbike to commute. A similar ratio of US adolescents (precise 60%) prefers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their preference for motorbikes is higher than that of the UK, 30% to be exact.
However
, less percentage of American youngsters prefers riding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one out of ten. Germany
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
an interesting trend where almost half of the adolescents like to ride a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
, a trend uncommon in other countries. 40% of them choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
as their transportation and the rest of them inclined to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
motorbikes.
Finally
, the highest percentage of car-loving
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "young", the plural form of the noun 'young'?
youngs
are located
in France, where around 2 out of 3 adolescent fancy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
over other vehicles. Around 10% French youth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
and a similar percentage ride on motorized bikes.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below shows the type of transports young people in four countries prefer to use. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
195 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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