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The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Cambridge 6 test 1 task 1 v.7

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Cambridge 6 test 1 task 1 v. 7
The line graph illustrate water usage by 3 categories ( agriculture, indrustrial and domestic use), around the globe from 1900 to 2000, while the table compares the amount of water consumed by people in Brazil and Democratic Republic of Congo in 2000. Overall, greater volume of water was used through agriculture. In terms of industrial and domestic use, they had used almost equal cubic measure of water and it remained constant for 2 decades. From 1950, there was an increase of amount of water used by both industry and domestic services. Congo had least number of people than Brazil. Large group of people in Congo occupied a small piece of land and consumed least amount of water, whilst, in Brazil the population was bigger, therefore vast land was used, as well as higher volume of water was used up. It is of note, agriculture used up large amounts of water throughout the period. Looking at the graph; in 1900, it had about 500 cubic km, as it continue to increase to about 3000 cubic km. Similarly, water for industrial and domestic use was very insignificant, at approximately 0. 1 cubic km from 1900 to about 1920s. Moving forward from 1920s, industries began to use more water than domestics, as it continue to rise steadily upto 1950, then from there a rapid increase was experienced until 2000 when it reached about 1000 cubic km. As for domestics, the volume of water used up remained constant from 1900 to 1950, it rose gradually to around 0. 5 cubic km in 2000. Furthermore, Brazil had the large number of people who occupied a vast space of 26, 500 sq km, hence large volumes of water was consumed, at 359 cubic metres in 2000. However, DRC had a population of 5. 2 million, living in a small piece of land at 100 sq km, only 8 cubic metres of water was used up by this group of people.
The line graph illustrate
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water
usage by 3 categories
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
agriculture,
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indrustrial
and
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domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
), around the globe from 1900 to 2000, while the table compares the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumed by
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people
in Brazil and Democratic Republic of Congo in 2000.

Overall
, greater
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volume
of
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water
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
through agriculture. In terms of industrial and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, they had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
almost equal cubic measure of
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water
and it remained constant for 2 decades. From 1950, there was an increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by both industry and
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domestic
services. Congo had
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
number of
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people
than Brazil.
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Large
group of
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people
in Congo occupied a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
piece of land and consumed
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
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water
, whilst, in Brazil the population was bigger,
therefore
vast land was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
,
as well
as higher
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volume
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
up.

It is of note, agriculture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
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amounts
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
throughout the period. Looking at the graph; in 1900, it had about 500 cubic km, as it continue to increase to about 3000 cubic km.
Similarly
,
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water
for industrial and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
insignificant, at approximately 0. 1 cubic km from 1900 to about 1920s. Moving forward from 1920s, industries began to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
than domestics, as it continue to rise
steadily
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
1950, then from there a rapid increase
was experienced
until 2000 when it reached about 1000 cubic km. As for domestics, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volume
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
up remained constant from 1900 to 1950, it rose
gradually
to around 0. 5 cubic km in 2000.

Furthermore
, Brazil had the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who occupied a vast space of 26, 500 sq km,
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volumes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
was consumed
, at 359 cubic
Possible spelling mistake. 'metres' is British English.
metres
in 2000.
However
, DRC had a population of 5. 2 million, living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
piece of land at 100 sq km,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
8 cubic
Possible spelling mistake. 'metres' is British English.
metres
of
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water
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
up by this group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS academic The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Cambridge 6 test 1 task 1 v. 7

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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