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The graph below gives information about international tourist arrivals in five countries. v.1

The graph below gives information about international tourist arrivals in five countries. v. 1
The line graph compares the number of foreign tourists arrival in five countries between 1995 and 2010. Overall, tourist arrival in these countries increased over time, and the USA and France received the highest number of foreign travellers during this period. As the data suggest, over 70 million international tourists landed in the USA in 1995 which was more than double than that of France. Malaysia, in this year, received around 20 million tourists while fewer than 10 million travellers visited Brazil and Egypt each. Tourists arrival in the USA gradually increased but a sharp rise could be observed in the case of France where over 80 million travellers visited in 2010. Despite the USA being the favourite among the tourists, France, as a destination, became famous with the rapid increase of its tourists' number. Moreover, approximately 50 million people went to Malaysia to spend their holidays in 2010 and this figure is more than doubled in just 15 years. Finally, tourists arrival in Egypt slowly increased and crossed the tourists' arrival in Brazil as more than 20 million people travelled to Egypt in 2010 while this number was about 3 million fewer in Brazil.
The line graph compares the
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number
of foreign
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tourists
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arrival
in five countries between 1995 and 2010.

Overall
,
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tourist
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arrival
in these countries increased over time, and the USA and France received the highest
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number
of foreign
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travellers
during this period.

As the data suggest, over 70
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million
international
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tourists
landed in the USA in 1995 which was more than double than that of France. Malaysia, in this year, received around 20
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million
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tourists
while fewer than 10
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million
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
visited Brazil and Egypt each.
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Tourists
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arrival
in the USA
gradually
increased
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but
a sharp rise could
be observed
in the case of France where over 80
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million
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
visited in 2010. Despite the USA being the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
among the
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tourists
, France, as a destination, became
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famous
with the rapid increase of its tourists'
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number
.
Moreover
, approximately 50
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
went to Malaysia to spend their holidays in 2010 and this figure is more than doubled in
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just
15 years.
Finally
,
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tourists
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arrival
in Egypt
slowly
increased and crossed the tourists'
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arrival
in Brazil as more than 20
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travelled to Egypt in 2010 while this
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number
was about 3
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million
fewer in Brazil.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS academic The graph below gives information about international tourist arrivals in five countries. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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