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The first graph gives the number of passengers travelling by train in Sydney The second graph provides information on the percentage of trains running on time Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons wher v.1

The first graph gives the number of passengers travelling by train in Sydney The second graph provides information on the percentage of trains running on time
The line graphs depicts information on the number of people commuting through the train in Sydney and the rate of trains that ran on time. The study covers the period from 1995 to 2004. Generally, there was a significant upward movement in the trend of people traveling by train for nine years. It is also clear that the percentage of trains traveling on time recorded a remarkable decrease over the same period. From 1995 to 1999, there was a gradual increase of train commuters starting at 250 Million during the initial year to over 265 Million. Within the next two years, the figure reached a high of 300 Million before it went back to its previous number in 2000. This was followed by a steady record until the end of the timeframe which was about 30 Million difference than that of its initial data in 1995. Concurrently, the ratio of trains running on time from 93 % in 1995 made a decrement at about 86 % in 1997. This was followed by a rise of 7 % over the next two years. In 2000, it dipped to 85 % before going back to about 93 % in 2002. In 2004, the percentage dropped to as low as about 73 %. By comparison, this was four folds less than its proportion in 1995.
The line graphs depicts information on the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
commuting through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
in Sydney and the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
that ran on time. The study covers the period from 1995 to 2004.

Generally
, there was a significant upward movement in the trend of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
traveling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
for nine years. It is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
traveling on time recorded a remarkable decrease over the same period.

From 1995 to 1999, there was a gradual increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
commuters starting at 250
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Million
during the initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
to over 265
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Million
. Within the
next
two years, the figure reached a high of 300
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Million
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it went back to its previous number in 2000. This
was followed
by a steady record until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the timeframe which was about 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Million
difference than that of its initial data in 1995.

Concurrently
, the ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
running on time from 93 % in 1995 made a decrement at about 86 % in 1997. This
was followed
by a rise of 7 % over the
next
two years. In 2000, it dipped to 85 %
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going back to about 93 % in 2002. In 2004, the percentage dropped to as low as about 73 %. By comparison, this was four folds less than its proportion in 1995.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic The first graph gives the number of passengers travelling by train in Sydney The second graph provides information on the percentage of trains running on time

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
222 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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