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The diagrams below present the estimates and projections of world population from the US Census Bureau. v.2

The diagrams below present the estimates and projections of world population from the US Census Bureau. v. 2
Given is the two graphs revealing the world population and its growth rate between 1950 and 2050 in the US Census Bureau. It is clear from the first chart that it rose and is predicted to rise sustainably in the near future. However, the chart which illustrated the growth rate of the population is subject to overall volatility. Standing at a mere minority of nearly 3 billion in the first year, it seemed flat one year later. However, after 1970 and 1980 at 4 billion, it jumped further to nearly 7 billion in 2010 and it is expected to continue a stable climb by 2 billion to 9 billion. On the second chart, although it occupied 1. 5 % in 1950, the figure had a slight lull then. After the rate followed by a growth pattern that was more varied, it abruptly surged to 2% in 1970. Remarkably, the largest percentage decrease was recorded until 2010 at roughly 1. 2% and the percentage will plummet until 2050 at only 0. 5%.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
is the two graphs revealing the world population and its growth rate between 1950 and 2050 in the US Census Bureau.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the
first
chart that it rose and
is predicted
to rise
sustainably
in the near future.
However
, the chart which illustrated the growth rate of the population is subject to
overall
volatility.

Standing at a mere minority of
nearly
3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in the
first
year, it seemed flat one year later.
However
, after 1970 and 1980 at 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
, it jumped
further
to
nearly
7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in 2010 and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to continue a stable climb by 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
to 9 billion.

On the second chart, although it occupied 1. 5 % in 1950, the figure had a slight lull then. After the rate followed by a growth pattern that was more varied, it
abruptly
surged to 2% in 1970.
Remarkably
, the largest percentage decrease
was recorded
until 2010 at roughly 1. 2% and the percentage will plummet until 2050 at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
0. 5%.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The diagrams below present the estimates and projections of world population from the US Census Bureau. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
171 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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