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The diagram shows the water cycle, which is the continuous movement of water on, above and below the surface of the earth. v.2

The diagram shows the water cycle, which is the continuous movement of water on, above and below the surface of the earth. v. 2
The diagram illustrates the cycle of water from ocean to air and to land. Overall, there are three steps in the water movement process, from the ocean to air to land. Initially, there is about 80 percent of the amount of water in the ocean, which is evaporated to be vapor in the air and turns to be a condensing cloud. After that, when the cloud holds the great amount of water, it falls as a rain and the amount of water called precipitation which makes lakes in land and snow when the rainfall is frozen. Eventually, the water from the melted snow and ground water which moves through an impervious layer of the earth and runs back into the ocean is intruded by salt water at the end of the process. Having completed all these steps, the cycle of water begins again.
The diagram illustrates the cycle of
water
from
ocean
to air and to land.

Overall
, there are three steps in the
water
movement process, from the
ocean
to air to land.

Initially
, there is about 80 percent of the amount of
water
in the
ocean
, which
is evaporated
to be vapor in the air and turns to be a condensing cloud. After that, when the cloud holds the great amount of
water
, it falls as a rain and the amount of
water
called precipitation which
makes
lakes in land and snow when the rainfall
is frozen
.

Eventually
, the
water
from the melted snow and ground
water
which
moves
through an impervious layer of the earth and runs back into the
ocean
is intruded
by salt
water
at the
end
of the process. Having completed all these steps, the cycle of
water
begins
again.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS academic The diagram shows the water cycle, which is the continuous movement of water on, above and below the surface of the earth. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
143 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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