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The bar chart below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities Derby and Nottingham Between 2000 and 2009 v.2

The bar chart below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities Derby and Nottingham Between 2000 and 2009 v. 2
The chart given elucidates the quantity of houses erected on a yearly basis between the year of 2000 and 2009 in the two cities, namely Derby and Nottingham. Overall, Derby witnessed a stable and dramatic rise while the proportion of Nottingham showed a sharp fluctuation during the time frame. The figure for Derby started as the second position in the first two years but in 2002, it rose to about 60 compared to approximately 10 of Nottingham. From then on, the proportion was ahead of its counterpart, ranging slightly from 110 to 120 in the next years. In 2008, the number of houses erected in Derby climbed considerably to more than 275 and ended the period at its peak for nearly 350. At the beginning of the period, the houses built each year in Nottingham, about 50 houses, outnumbered those of Derby with a negligible gap. However, in 2003, Nottingham experienced a catastrophic drop to 20 in its figure. Then it started to go up steadily in the following years till 2005 before diving by 75 to practically 0 in 2006. Surprisingly, in the year after, the proportion soared to nearly 200, which was one hundred times as many as the previous one. Nevertheless, it dropped to approximately 10 in 2008, but then reached its peak at 250 at the end of the time frame.
The chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
elucidates the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
erected on a yearly basis between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of 2000 and 2009 in the two cities,
namely
Derby and Nottingham.

Overall
, Derby witnessed a stable and dramatic rise while the proportion of Nottingham
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a sharp fluctuation during the time frame.

The figure for Derby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
as the second position in the
first
two years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2002, it rose to about 60 compared to approximately 10 of Nottingham. From then on, the proportion was ahead of its counterpart, ranging
slightly
from 110 to 120 in the
next
years. In 2008, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
erected in Derby climbed
considerably
to more than 275 and ended the period at its peak for
nearly
350.

At the beginning of the period, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
built each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
in Nottingham, about 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
, outnumbered those of Derby with a negligible gap.
However
, in 2003, Nottingham experienced a catastrophic drop to 20 in its figure. Then it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to go up
steadily
in the following years till 2005
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
diving by 75 to
practically
0 in 2006.
Surprisingly
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
after, the proportion soared to
nearly
200, which was one hundred times as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as the previous one.
Nevertheless
, it dropped to approximately 10 in 2008,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then reached its peak at 250 at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the time frame.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities Derby and Nottingham Between 2000 and 2009 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
225 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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