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The diagram below shows information about the amount of money spent on alcohol and drugs. Summarize the info by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.2

The diagram below shows information about the amount of money spent on alcohol and drugs. Summarize the info by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v. 2
The bar chart compares and contrasts data on the changes in the expenditure on alcohol and drugs over an eighteen - year period of time from 1975 to 1992. A closer look at the chart highlights the fact that while the figure of drugs climbed significantly, the money spent on alcohol stayed almost unchanged in this time period. More specifically, people spent just under 100 billion dollars on drugs in 1975, an increase of aroung 65 billion dollars. Whereas the sales of alcohol only climbed by 2 billion dollars with the figure of 146 and 148 billion dollars. The money used for alcohol, however, fluctuated every period of time and peaked at slightly over 185 billion dollars in the first years of the 1980s. In that year, not only the expenditure on alcohol but the one on drugs also reached the peak of just over 100 billion dollars before both figures dropped to the troughs with the sales at 104 and 65 billion dollars, respectively, in 1985.
The bar chart compares and contrasts data on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the expenditure on
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alcohol
and
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drugs
over an eighteen
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
year period of time from 1975 to 1992.

A closer look at the chart highlights the fact that while the figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
climbed
significantly
, the money spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
stayed almost unchanged in this time period.

More
specifically
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
on
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drugs
in 1975, an increase of
Possible spelling mistake found.
aroung
65
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billion
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dollars
. Whereas the sales of
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alcohol
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
climbed by 2
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billion
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dollars
with the figure of 146 and 148
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billion
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dollars
. The money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
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alcohol
,
however
, fluctuated every period of time and peaked at
slightly
over 185
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billion
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dollars
in the
first
years of the 1980s. In that year, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the expenditure on
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alcohol
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the one on
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drugs
also
reached the peak of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
both figures dropped to the troughs with the sales at 104 and 65
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
,
respectively
, in 1985.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS academic The diagram below shows information about the amount of money spent on alcohol and drugs. Summarize the info by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
167 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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