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The diagram below shows information about member attendance at various clubs in a metro city Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.2

The diagram below shows information about member attendance at various clubs in a metro city
The supplied bar graph enumerates the presence of the members at numerous clubs in a metro city for a seven month period. The highlighting feature is the attendance of members at American Club. As it is observed from the data, there was a mild rise in the visits of individuals at French Club from January to July. It was at its peak in July by well nigh to 78, 000 visitors. Whereas the figure of visitors remained the same throughout these seven months at British Club. It was nearly 60, 000 visitors per month. To continue with, the number of members show dramatic fluctuations at Japanese Club in the bar graph. It touched the bottom in January with nearly 40, 000 members and hit a high point in April with approximately 50, 000 visitors. Moreover, the American Club reached a peak in June with nearly 98, 000 visitors. Whereas in July it decreased with nearly 15, 000 visitors at American Club. All in all, the feeblest visits made by visitors at Japanese Club in January whereas the maximal visits was at American Club by visitors in June.
The supplied bar graph enumerates the presence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
at numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clubs
in a metro city for a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "seven-month"
seven month
period. The highlighting feature is the attendance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
at American Club.

As it
is observed
from the data, there was a mild rise in the visits of individuals at French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Club
from January to July. It was at its peak in July by
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well nigh
to 78, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
the figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
remained the same throughout these seven months at British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Club
. It was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nearly
60, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
per month.

To continue with, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
dramatic fluctuations at Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Club
in the bar graph. It touched the bottom in January with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nearly
40, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
and hit a high point in April with approximately 50, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
.
Moreover
, the American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Club
reached a peak in June with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nearly
98, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
. Whereas in July it decreased with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nearly
15, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
at American Club.

All in all, the feeblest visits made by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
at Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Club
in January whereas the maximal visits was at American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Club
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
in June.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS academic The diagram below shows information about member attendance at various clubs in a metro city

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
187 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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