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The diagram below show the life cycle of silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting main features and compare where relevant. v.1

The diagram below show the life cycle of silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth.
The first part of this diagram illustrates, natural production silk during the metamorphosis of silk worm. Whilst, the second segments elaborates the stages of industrial manufacturing of silk cloth. Overall, from hatching of larvae to a fine silk cloth it is a complicated and time requiring process. To begin with, an adult moth lay eggs on mulberry leaves, that serve as a food for larvae after ten days when they hatch from their eggs. In 4-6 weeks larvae start producing silk threads around their bodies. Afterwards, each larva form a cocoon in 3-8 days, before becoming an adult moth. On the other hand, cocoons being the main elements in industrial production of silk cloth, are boiled in water. As a result of boiling, silk threads are laxed then they are disentangled. On average, the unwinded threads range from 300 meters to 900 meters. Furthermore, silk threads are twisted together. From here onward, they are either dyed with colors directly or weaved first into clothes an then dispatched for coloring.
The
first
part of this diagram illustrates, natural production
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
silk
during the metamorphosis of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
silk
worm. Whilst, the second segments elaborates the stages of industrial manufacturing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
silk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cloth
.
Overall
, from hatching of larvae to a fine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
silk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cloth
it is a complicated and time requiring process.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, an adult moth lay eggs on mulberry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
, that serve as
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "food".
a food
for larvae after ten days when they hatch from their eggs. In 4-6 weeks larvae
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
silk
threads around their bodies. Afterwards, each larva
Did you mean "from"?
form
a cocoon in 3-8 days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
becoming an adult moth.

On the other hand
, cocoons being the main elements in industrial production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
silk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cloth
,
are boiled
in water.
As a result
of boiling,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
silk
threads are
Possible spelling mistake found.
laxed
then they
are disentangled
. On average, the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "unwound", the past tense form of the verb 'unwind'?
unwinded
threads range from 300 meters to 900 meters.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
silk
threads
are twisted
together. From here onward, they are either dyed with colors
directly
or weaved
first
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
Possible typo. Did you mean "and then"?
an then
dispatched for coloring.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS academic The diagram below show the life cycle of silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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