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The diagram below show the life cycle of silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting main features and compare where relevant. v.1

The diagram below show the life cycle of silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth.
The first part of this diagram illustrates, natural production silk during the metamorphosis of silk worm. Whilst, the second segments elaborates the stages of industrial manufacturing of silk cloth. Overall, from hatching of larvae to a fine silk cloth it is a complicated and time requiring process. To begin with, an adult moth lay eggs on mulberry leaves, that serve as a food for larvae after ten days when they hatch from their eggs. In 4-6 weeks larvae start producing silk threads around their bodies. Afterwards, each larva form a cocoon in 3-8 days, before becoming an adult moth. On the other hand, cocoons being the main elements in industrial production of silk cloth, are boiled in water. As a result of boiling, silk threads are laxed then they are disentangled. On average, the unwinded threads range from 300 meters to 900 meters. Furthermore, silk threads are twisted together. From here onward, they are either dyed with colors directly or weaved first into clothes an then dispatched for coloring.
The
first
part of this diagram illustrates, natural production
silk
during the metamorphosis of
silk
worm. Whilst, the second segments elaborates the stages of industrial manufacturing of
silk
cloth
.
Overall
, from hatching of larvae to a fine
silk
cloth
it is a complicated and time requiring process.

To
begin
with, an adult moth lay eggs on mulberry
leaves
, that serve as
a food
for larvae after ten days when they hatch from their eggs. In 4-6 weeks larvae
start
producing
silk
threads around their bodies. Afterwards, each larva
form
a cocoon in 3-8 days,
before
becoming an adult moth.

On the other hand
, cocoons being the main elements in industrial production of
silk
cloth
,
are boiled
in water.
As a result
of boiling,
silk
threads are
laxed
then they
are disentangled
. On average, the
unwinded
threads range from 300 meters to 900 meters.
Furthermore
,
silk
threads
are twisted
together. From here onward, they are either dyed with colors
directly
or weaved
first
into
clothes
an then
dispatched for coloring.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
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Alan Moore

IELTS academic The diagram below show the life cycle of silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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