Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The charts show what the history and engineering graduates were doing six months after graduating. v.2

The charts show what the history and engineering graduates were doing six months after graduating. v. 2
The two bar charts give key information about the state of students six months after graduation from two different courses in a single university, taken from two successive years. Although a high percentage of both specialities were able to find work, engineering graduates’ stats were somewhat higher. Additionally, employment was rather higher in the second year for both. Unemployment for the historians, standing at about 5% in year one and just below that in year two, was notably less than it was for engineers, being as high as 10% and slightly increasing the following year. That could be explained by the fact that graduates pursuing higher qualifications were considerably higher in the field of history than their counterparts in engineering. At the same time taking a gap year after leaving university seems to be more common in history than engineering. To sum up, even though, at first glance, it seems more promising to study history in terms of finding a job, the explanation may lie in the tendency of students studying history to spend additional years in further study.
The two bar charts give key information about the state of students six months after graduation from two
different
courses in a single university, taken from two successive years.

Although a high percentage of both specialities were able to find work, engineering graduates’ stats were somewhat higher.
Additionally
, employment was
rather
higher in the second
year
for both. Unemployment for the historians, standing at about 5% in
year
one and
just
below that in
year
two, was
notably
less than it was for engineers, being as high as 10% and
slightly
increasing the following
year
. That could be
explained
by the fact that graduates pursuing higher qualifications were
considerably
higher in the field of
history
than their counterparts in engineering. At the same time taking a gap
year
after leaving university seems to be more common in
history
than engineering.

To sum up,
even though
, at
first
glance, it seems more promising to study
history
in terms of finding a job, the explanation may lie in the tendency of students studying
history
to spend additional years in
further
study.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS academic The charts show what the history and engineering graduates were doing six months after graduating. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
179 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts