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The chart below shows the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comaparisons where relevant. v.2

The chart below shows the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
The given Pie charts illustrates the percentage of water consumed in three different fields(industrial, agriculture and domestic use)in six regions of the world. Overall, highest percentage of water is used on agricultural activities worldwide, the least amount of it is consumed in homes. In North America and Europe, as opposed to other four regions, most of the water is used in industries. In Africa, two Asian regions of central Asia and South East Asia and South America more than 2/3rd of water is taken by agricultural sector ( 84%, 88%, 81% and 71%respectively). As opposed to 2 other regions where its use is even less than half of the total (39% in South America and 32% in Europe). In the regions of North America and Europe the dominant use of water is in industry where around about half of the total water is consumed in each region(48% and 53% respectively). On the other hand, other regions consume significantly lower amount of water on this area. The domestic use is the least of all areas. The highest use in this sector is by South America (19%) and the least by two asian regions (7% each).
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
Pie charts illustrates the percentage of
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water
consumed in three
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different
fields(industrial, agriculture and domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
)in six
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regions
of the world.

Overall
,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
percentage of
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water
is
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used
on agricultural activities worldwide, the least amount of it
is consumed
in homes. In North America and Europe, as opposed to
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other
four
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regions
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in industries.

In Africa, two Asian
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regions
of
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
central Asia
and South East Asia and South America more than 2/3rd of
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water
is taken
by agricultural sector
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
84%, 88%, 81% and 71%
respectively
). As opposed to 2
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other
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regions
where its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
is even less than half of the total (39% in South America and 32% in Europe).

In the
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regions
of North America and Europe the dominant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is in industry where around about half of the total
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water
is consumed
in each
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region(48%
and 53%
respectively
). On the
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other
hand,
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
consume
significantly
lower amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
on this area.

The domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
is the least of all areas. The highest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in this sector is by South America (19%) and the least by two
Possible spelling mistake found.
asian
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regions
(7% each).
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS academic The chart below shows the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
194 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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