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The charts below show the percentage of monthly household income spent on various items by two different groups in one European country. v.2

The charts below show the percentage of monthly household income spent on various items by two different groups in one European country. v. 2
The pie charts compare the proportion of monthly domestic cost allotted for 7 categories, namely: food and drinks, fuel bill, clothing, transport, miscellaneous, restaurant and hotel and lastly, recreational and cultural activities. The first chart illustrates the expenditures of the low-income group and the second pie chart shows how the high-income group spent their income. Both charts pertained to one of the countries in Europe. It is evident that the low-income group spent the largest proportion of their income on food and drinks while the high-income group allotted the majority of their salary for miscellaneous items. Meanwhile, the tiniest percentage of expenditure for lesser income group was for the restaurant and hotel while for the higher income group, this was for clothing. In detail, poor people prioritised food and drinks and this item demanded 29% of their wages unlike with rich persons, as it was only on their 4th priority with only 15%. Surprisingly, the low-income group spent more on fuel bill compared to the high-income group with 24% and 7% respectively. However, in the remaining categories, rich people had higher expenditures. For instance, rich individuals spent 21% of their wages on recreational and cultural activities while poor individuals allotted only 11% for this category. Interestingly, the high-income group spent an enormous proportion of the miscellaneous category (23%) while the low-income group allotted only 18%. Also, rich individuals spent more on transportation (16%) than poor people (9%). Similarly, both categories have less than 10% spent on clothing.
The pie
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charts
compare the proportion of monthly domestic cost
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allotted
for 7
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categories
,
namely
: food and drinks, fuel bill, clothing, transport, miscellaneous, restaurant and hotel and
lastly
, recreational and cultural activities. The
first
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chart
illustrates the expenditures of the low-income
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group
and the second pie
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chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how the
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high-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
their
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income
. Both
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charts
pertained to one of the countries in Europe.

It is evident that the low-income
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group
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spent
the largest proportion of their
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income
on food and drinks while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allotted
the majority of their salary for miscellaneous items. Meanwhile, the tiniest percentage of expenditure for lesser
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income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
was for the restaurant and hotel while for the higher
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income
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group
, this was for clothing.

In detail, poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritised' is British English.
prioritised
food and drinks and this item demanded 29% of their wages unlike with
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rich
persons, as it was
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only
on their 4th priority with
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only
15%.
Surprisingly
, the low-income
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group
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spent
more on fuel bill compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
with 24% and 7%
respectively
.
However
, in the remaining
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categories
,
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rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had higher expenditures.
For instance
,
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rich
individuals
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spent
21% of their wages on recreational and cultural activities while poor individuals
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allotted
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only
11% for this
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category
.
Interestingly
, the
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high-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
an enormous proportion of the miscellaneous
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category
(23%) while the low-income
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group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allotted
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only
18%.
Also
,
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rich
individuals
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spent
more on transportation (16%) than poor
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people
(9%).
Similarly
, both
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categories
have less than 10%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on clothing.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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Gaston Bachelard

IELTS academic The charts below show the percentage of monthly household income spent on various items by two different groups in one European country. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
247 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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