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The chars below show the percentage of monthly household income spent on various items by two different groups in one European country. v.2

The chars below show the percentage of monthly household income spent on various items by two different groups in one European country. v. 2
The two pie charts depicts the information about the percentage of monthly domestic income expenditures on types items by two different categories in one European country. At first glance, it is clearly seen that, the maximum percentage of household earing spend on food and drinks which was 29% whereas, the minimum percentage of domestic income expenditures were utilized in restaurants which was 4% further, the percentage of households pays on spending on misellano and clothes which was 18% and 5% respectively. Moreover, there was about 6% difference between the proportion of domestic pay consumed on clothing and recreation culture. Moving further, the percentage of domestic income consumed on recreation culture was 3 times more as compared to fuel Bills. while, there was a 8% difference between the proportion of households pay spend on food and drink, clothing following the 10% of households Pay consumed on transports which was 10% Overall, the highest percentage of household income spend on food and drink by high income group.
The two pie charts depicts the information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of monthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
expenditures on types items by two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories in one European country.

At
first
glance, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, the maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
Possible spelling mistake found.
earing
spend on food and drinks which was 29% whereas, the minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
expenditures
were utilized
in restaurants which was 4%
further
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
pays on spending on
Possible spelling mistake found.
misellano
and clothes which was 18% and 5%
respectively
.
Moreover
, there was about 6% difference between the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
pay consumed on clothing and recreation culture.

Moving
further
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
consumed on recreation culture was 3 times more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to fuel Bills.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
, there was
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
8% difference between the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
pay spend on food and drink, clothing following the 10% of households

Pay consumed on transports which was 10%

Overall
, the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
spend on food and drink by high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
group.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS academic The chars below show the percentage of monthly household income spent on various items by two different groups in one European country. v. 2

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
165 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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