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The charts below show the electricity generated in Germany and France for all sources and renewables in years 2009 v.2

The charts below show the electricity generated in Germany and France for all sources and renewables in years 2009 v. 2
The pie charts given below illustrate the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. The data is measured in percentage. Overall, it can be seen that the biggest percentage for all types was conventional thermal in Germany and followed by nuclear in France. While the most popular percentage for renewables was biomas in Germany and followed by hydroelectric in Japan. Based on the all types charts in Germany, the largest percentage was conventional thermal, which was 59. 6%. Different from all types in France, the most popular sources was nuclear, it got 76, 0%. While, nuclear in Germany was the second biggest sources. Renewables in all types germany was the lowest sources, but it had second sources in France. On the other hand, renewables was devided into 5 categories, which were biomass, hydroelectric, solar, geothermal and wind. The dominated renewables in Germany was Biomas. Meanwhile, hydroelectric as the biggest renewables in France, which was more than four fifths. Both of renewables in germany and france, wind as the second dominated percentage. Renewables of geothermal was the lowest percentage in Germany, it had 0, 0%. This was also the case for Geothermal in France, which experienced very low levels.
The pie charts
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given
below illustrate the electricity generated in Germany and France from all
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sources
and
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renewables
in the year 2009. The data
is measured
in
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percentage
.
Overall
, it can be
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seen
that the biggest
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percentage
for all
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types
was conventional thermal in Germany and followed by nuclear in France. While the most popular
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percentage
for
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renewables
was
Possible spelling mistake found.
biomas
in Germany and followed by hydroelectric in Japan.

Based on the all
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types
charts in Germany, the largest
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percentage
was conventional thermal, which was 59. 6%.
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Different
from all
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types
in France, the most popular
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sources
was nuclear, it
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got
76, 0%.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, nuclear in Germany was the second biggest
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sources
.
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Renewables
in all
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types
Possible spelling mistake found.
germany
was the lowest
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sources
,
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but
it had second
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sources
in France.

On the other hand
,
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renewables
was
Possible spelling mistake found.
devided
into 5 categories, which were biomass, hydroelectric, solar, geothermal and wind. The dominated
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renewables
in Germany was
Possible spelling mistake found.
Biomas
. Meanwhile, hydroelectric as the biggest
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renewables
in France, which was more than four fifths. Both of
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renewables
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
germany
and
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france
, wind as the second dominated
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percentage
.
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Renewables
of geothermal was the lowest
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percentage
in Germany, it had 0, 0%. This was
also
the case for Geothermal in France, which experienced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low levels.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS academic The charts below show the electricity generated in Germany and France for all sources and renewables in years 2009 v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
206 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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