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The charts below show degrees granted in different fields at the National University in the years 1990, 2000, and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. v.2

The charts below show degrees granted in different fields at the National University in the years 1990, 2000, and 2010.
The pie charts depict the proportion of degrees awarded to students at the National University, particularly in the field of Medicine, Law, Business and Computer Science over three successive decades – 1990, 2000 and 2010. In 1990, both Business and Computer Science received the highest percentages, wherein each received 30% of degrees given to students. Medicine and Law followed closely with 25% and 15%, respectively. In 2000, Computer Science was able to retained the top spot by gaining a 10% increase in percentage, while Medicine gained the second highest percentage at 30%. Business, however, dropped to third place after losing 10% and similarly Law has taken last place after losing 5%. In 2010, standings of the four fields remained similar with Computer Science continuing to dominate at 45% of the degrees given. Medicine retained second place despite losing 5%. Both Business and Law occupied the last spot, each having 15% of the overall standing. In conclusion, over the three decades, there is a steady rise of students graduating in Computer Science at National University. Graduates from other fields like Medicine and Law fluctuated over the years, while Business graduated declined steadily over the years.
The pie charts depict the proportion of degrees awarded to students at the National University,
particularly
in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Medicine
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Law
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
and Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
three successive decades
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
1990, 2000 and 2010.

In 1990, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
and Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
received the highest percentages, wherein each received 30% of degrees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to students.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Medicine
and
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Law
followed
closely
with 25% and 15%,
respectively
.

In 2000, Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
was able
Did you mean "to retain"?
to retained
the top spot by gaining a 10% increase in percentage, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Medicine
gained the second highest percentage at 30%.
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Business
,
however
, dropped to third place after losing 10% and
similarly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Law
has taken last place after losing 5%.

In 2010, standings of the four fields remained similar with Computer
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Science
continuing to dominate at 45% of the degrees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.
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Medicine
retained second place despite losing 5%. Both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Law
occupied the last spot, each having 15% of the
overall
standing.

In conclusion
,
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over
the three decades, there is a steady rise of students graduating in Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
at National University. Graduates from other fields like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Medicine
and
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Law
fluctuated
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over
the years, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
graduated declined
steadily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the years.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS academic The charts below show degrees granted in different fields at the National University in the years 1990, 2000, and 2010.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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