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The charts below show changes in the proportion of the energy produced from different resources in a country in 1985 and 2003 v.2

The charts below show changes in the proportion of the energy produced from different resources in a country in 1985 and 2003 v. 2
The two pie charts present information about the comparison in energy generation from various sources, including oil, natural gas, coal, nuclear, hydro and other renewable sources, in a country in 1985 and 2003. Overall, the use of some sources to produce energy increased with time, whereas the others decreased. While the traditional energy sources such as oil and nuclear went down, the consumption of coal and other renewable sources experienced an increase. It can be seen from the pie charts that oil was the main sourced for energy production, despite its usage dramatically dropped from 52% in 1985 to 39% in 2003. Whereas, the percentage of natural gas rose from 13% to 23% over the given period. Likewise, consuming in coal went through a period of significant increase from 8% to 22%, exceeding the figure in nuclear, which had only 8%. In comparison with the amount energy produced was accounted for 4% in the initial year, remaining stable till 2003. Over the given eighteen- year period, the proportion of energy produced from other renewable source increased from 1% to 4%.
The two pie charts present information about the comparison in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
generation from various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
, including oil, natural gas, coal, nuclear, hydro and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
, in a country in 1985 and 2003.

Overall
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
to produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
increased with time, whereas the others decreased. While the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
such as oil and nuclear went down, the consumption of coal and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
experienced an increase.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the pie charts that oil was the main sourced for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
production, despite its usage
dramatically
dropped from 52% in 1985 to 39% in 2003.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, the percentage of natural gas rose from 13% to 23% over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.
Likewise
, consuming in coal went through a period of significant increase from 8% to 22%, exceeding the figure in nuclear, which had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
8%.

In comparison
with the amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
produced
was accounted
for 4% in the initial year, remaining stable till 2003. Over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
eighteen- year period, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
produced from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
increased from 1% to 4%.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The charts below show changes in the proportion of the energy produced from different resources in a country in 1985 and 2003 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
180 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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