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The charts below give information about the people use public library and the main reasons to visit in Britain in 1991 in 2000. v.2

The charts below give information about the people use public library and the main reasons to visit in Britain in 1991 in 2000. v. 2
The pie charts illustrate the proportion of several reasons to use the public library in Britain in 1991 and 2001. Overall, in both years the main reason for visiting a library was to borrow or return books. It also is clear that the percentage of people using these libraries to obtain information in 2000 was double the figure for 1991. In 1991, 65% of visitors went to public libraries in order to borrow or return books. However, in 2000 there was a decline in the percentage, which saw a decrease by 10% to 55%, although a new category of borrowing or returning videos appearing in the chart for 2000 which accounted for 18% of the total. The proportion for “study” and “obtain information” was equal, at 10% in 1991. The percentage increased by half for the reason of gaining information in 2000, but this fell dramatically to 2% for the “study” reason. Britain saw a considerable decline in the percentage of people went to public libraries to read newspapers or magazines, from 15% in 1991 to 5% in 2000.
The pie charts illustrate the proportion of several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the public library in Britain in 1991 and 2001.

Overall
, in both years the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for visiting a library was to borrow or return books. It
also
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using these libraries to obtain information in 2000 was double the figure for 1991.

In 1991, 65% of visitors went to public libraries in order to borrow or return books.
However
, in 2000 there was a decline in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a decrease by 10% to 55%, although a new category of borrowing or returning videos appearing in the chart for 2000 which accounted for 18% of the total.

The proportion for “study” and “obtain information” was equal, at 10% in 1991. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
increased by half for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of gaining information in 2000,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this fell
dramatically
to 2% for the “study”
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
. Britain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a considerable decline in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
went to public libraries to read newspapers or magazines, from 15% in 1991 to 5% in 2000.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS academic The charts below give information about the people use public library and the main reasons to visit in Britain in 1991 in 2000. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
179 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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