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Pie Charts below show changes in annual spending by a particular UK School in 1981 1991 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features and make comparison where necessary. v.2

Pie Charts below show changes in annual spending by a particular UK School in 1981 1991 and 2001.

The three Pie Charts illustrate, the information regarding annual expenditure by particular school in UK in 3 years 1981, 1991 and 2001. Overall, majority of the proportion of budget was constituted by teachers, and other workers salaries about 60%, while insurance made least contribution. To begin with, budget spending on teachers salaries, resources for example, books and on insurance increased from 1981 to 1991 with figures of 40% 15% and 2% in 1981, and 50% 20% and 3% in 1991. On the other hand, total expenditure on other workers salaries and furniture and equipment fell 6 and 10% during 1981 to 1991. However, in 2001 out of total school spending teachers salaries made about 45% which was 5% less than 1991. Whereas, other workers salaries comprised 15% about 7% less than 1991. Resources also went down 11% as compared to 1991. Furthermore both insurance, and furniture and equipment gained 5 and 18% respectively.

The three Pie Charts illustrate, the information regarding annual expenditure by particular school in UK in 3 years 1981, 1991 and 2001.

Overall
, It seems that an article is missing.the majority of
majority of
 the proportion of budget was constituted
 by teachers, and You use this word too often, consider replacing it withnewalternativemore
other
 workers You use this word too often, consider replacing it withwagefeepaystipendearningsincome
salaries
 about 60%, while insurance made A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".the least
least
 contribution.

To This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiatecommence
begin
 with, budget spending on teachers You use this word too often, consider replacing it withwagefeepaystipendearningsincome
salaries
, resources for example
, books and on insurance increased from 1981 to 1991 with figures of 40% 15% and 2% in 1981, and 50% 20% and 3% in 1991. On the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withnewalternativemore
other
 hand, total expenditure on You use this word too often, consider replacing it withnewalternativemore
other
 workers You use this word too often, consider replacing it withwagefeepaystipendearningsincome
salaries
 and furniture and equipment fell 6 and 10% during 1981 to 1991.

However
, in 2001 out of total school spending teachers You use this word too often, consider replacing it withwagefeepaystipendearningsincome
salaries
 made about 45% which was 5% less than 1991. “Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withnewalternativemore
other
 workers You use this word too often, consider replacing it withwagefeepaystipendearningsincome
salaries
 comprised 15% about 7% less than 1991. Resources also
 went down 11% as compared to 1991. Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?Furthermore,
Furthermore
 both insurance, and furniture and equipment gained 5 and 18% respectively
. 

7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS academic Pie Charts below show changes in annual spending by a particular UK School in 1981 1991 and 2001.

Academic

American English

4 paragraphs

153 words

6.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
?
Include an introduction and conclusion
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Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
?
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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