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The chart shows the number of international students from four different countries applyingfor universities in a European country from the year 2004 to 2008. v.2

The chart shows the number of international students from four different countries applyingfor universities in a European country from the year 2004 to 2008. v. 2
The bar chart indicates how many foreigner students who come from four separated nations over the world have demand to learn at the college in a European country for a-five-year period. Overall, the number of students from China had a down trend while those of the other regions fluctuated. China is the country where had the highest proportion of students among four areas. The number of learners from China declined dramatically from 3000 in 2004 to 15000 in 2008, which was only a half of compared figure in 2004. The second position was America where the total of students apply for universities in an European country varied around 15000. In three years 2006, 2007 and 2008, China and Europe had the same level of the number of students who want to study in Europe. There was an significant increase in the number of people applying colleges in Europe from 2004 to 2007, but then this figure decreased strongly to about 1000 students in 2008 while the total of Russian students were stable with around 2500 students.
The bar chart indicates how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreigner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from four separated nations over the world have demand to learn at the college in a European country for a-five-year period.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from China had a down trend while those of the other regions fluctuated.

China is the country where had the highest proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
among four areas. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of learners from China declined
dramatically
from 3000 in 2004 to 15000 in 2008, which was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a half of compared figure in 2004. The second position was America where the total of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "applies"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'apply' is not always incorrect.)
apply
for universities in
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
European country varied around 15000. In three years 2006, 2007 and 2008, China and Europe had the same level of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who want to study in Europe.

There was
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
significant increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
applying colleges in Europe from 2004 to 2007,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then this figure decreased
strongly
to about 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in 2008 while the total of Russian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were stable with around 2500
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS academic The chart shows the number of international students from four different countries applyingfor universities in a European country from the year 2004 to 2008. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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