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The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port city center from 2003-2012. v.1

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port city center from 2003-2012. v. 1
The line graphs illustrate the variation of three types of crimes in Newport city centre over a 10-year period. In general, almost every crime rate fluctuated over the given period of time except burglary which showed an overall downward trend. Initially, in 2003, there were more cases of burglary (approximately 3400) than car theft (roughly 2800) and robbery (just above 500). Over the time frame, there were always more incidents of car theft than robbery whereas the number of incidents of burglary was higher than that of car theft from 2003 to 2006 and there was equal in the number of cases of burglary and car theft in the middle of the year 2006. From 2007 onwards, there were more cases of car theft than burglary, which is followed by robbery. There was a sharp dip in the number of incidents of car theft in 2006 (around 2100) before it continued to rise until the year of 2012. The number of occurrence of burglary and robbery reached their lowest points in 2008, with figures just above 1000 and 500 respectively.
The line graphs illustrate the variation of three types of crimes in Newport city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
over a 10-year period.
In general
, almost every crime rate fluctuated over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period of time except
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burglary
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an
overall
downward trend.

Initially
, in 2003, there were more cases of
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burglary
(approximately 3400) than
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car
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theft
(roughly 2800) and robbery (
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 500). Over the time frame, there were always more incidents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theft
than robbery whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of incidents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burglary
was higher than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theft
from 2003 to 2006 and there was equal in the
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number
of cases of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burglary
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theft
in the middle of the year 2006. From 2007 onwards, there were more cases of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theft
than
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burglary
, which
is followed
by robbery.

There was a sharp dip in the
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number
of incidents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theft
in 2006 (around 2100)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it continued to rise until the year of 2012. The
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number
of occurrence of
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burglary
and robbery reached their lowest points in 2008, with figures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 1000 and 500
respectively
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port city center from 2003-2012. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
180 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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