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The chart below the information that younger one faced the unemployment in five different countries in 2005. v.2

The chart below the information that younger one faced the unemployment in five different countries in 2005. v. 2
The column chart illustrates the information about the proportion of how many youngster who had no anywork to do and conclude the ration of jobless younger in five different European countries in 2005. A quick look on graph is enough to make it clear that the number of younger people in Poland liked more to live without work but, in Denmark the proportion of young unemployed worker had showed at least as compared to other three countries Italy, Hungary and Germany. To commence with, about 35% of unemployed youngster were unlike the work to do in daily routine, which was the most highest in 2005. While, in Hungary and Germany where the figure for younger 15 to 24 years olds jobless individual had showed to equally approximately under 20 in the same year. There was a younger who did not have work more in Italy at just below one quater. The percentage of youngster who were not work in Denmark which was accounting for 7% in 2005. However, the ratio of overall unemployment rate in the age group of 15 to 24 years olds who had faced more problem to find the job in Poland and Germany at 15% and 10%, respectively. On the other hand, in both European countries in Italy and Hungary where the percentage of overall unemployment were represent to same nearby under 10 by younger generations. Finally, at around a small number of employment did not have in Denmark.
The column chart illustrates the information about the proportion of how
Possible agreement error. The noun youngster seems to be countable; consider using: "many youngsters".
many youngster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
had no
Possible spelling mistake found.
anywork
to do and conclude the ration of jobless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
in five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
European countries in 2005.

A quick look on graph is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Poland liked more to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, in Denmark the proportion of young unemployed worker had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
at least as compared to other three countries Italy, Hungary and Germany.

To commence with, about 35% of unemployed youngster were unlike the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to do in daily routine, which was the
Use only "highest" (without 'most') when you use the superlative.
most highest
in 2005. While, in Hungary and Germany where the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
15 to 24 years olds jobless individual had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
to
equally
approximately under 20 in the same year. There was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
did not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more in Italy at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below one
Possible spelling mistake found.
quater
. The percentage of youngster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in Denmark which was accounting for 7% in 2005.

However
, the ratio of
overall
unemployment rate in the age group of 15 to 24 years olds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
had faced more problem to find the job in Poland and Germany at 15% and 10%,
respectively
.
On the other hand
, in both European countries in Italy and Hungary where the percentage of
overall
unemployment were
Consider using a past participle here: "represented".
represent
to same nearby under 10 by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generations.
Finally
, at around a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number of employment did not have in Denmark.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below the information that younger one faced the unemployment in five different countries in 2005. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
243 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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