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Please: - a) give up to three practical examples of how you intend to use the knowledge, skills and connections you will gain from your scholarship. Possible tasks can be personal and/or professional; andb) list any possible constraints you think may preve v.2

Please: - a) give up to three practical examples of how you intend to use the knowledge, skills and connections you will gain from your scholarship. Possible tasks can be personal and/or professional; andb) list any possible constraints you think may preve v. 2
As I said, my job is to conserve and develop biodiversity. I am ambitious and still cherished but not yet able to do it. I hope I will get an Australian government scholarship and go to study in beautiful Australia. After completing my studies, with the knowledge gained and with the relationships I have, I will continue to do the unfinished and new tasks. Firstly, I set a goal to complete the build of hoang lien son biosphere Reserve, the most biodiversity area in Vietnam in the three provinces of Lao Cai, Lai Chau and Yen Bai. At the landscape level approach the project will help the relevant stakeholders to develop a collaborative management system for the hoang lien son Mountain Range within the legal framework of a “Man and biosphere Reserve”. Second: hoang lien national park has total area of 95, 904. 97 ha, inside core zone 28, 509 ha and buffer zone 67, 395. 97ha in 6 communes with over 4, 500 households, and over 25, 000 people and distributed over 39 villages; in which, 05 villages are located within the core zone of the national park, and 14 villages are located adjacent to the national park, most households are poor. I will propose an overall livelihood project to develop the economy, increase farmers' income, and reduce pressure on biodiversity. Third: Tourism development in association with conservation involves the participation of many farmers in the hoang lien national park area to reduce agricultural farming activities, increase income for farmers to contribute to conservation and development biodiversity. I know that to accomplish these tasks, I will face many difficulties and obstacles. - Does the government support it? - Big budget. - Where is the human resource? - how is the participation of colleagues? - how is the participation of farmers? - The impact of climate change and epidemics. And so on.
As I said, my job is to conserve and develop biodiversity. I am ambitious and
still
cherished
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
yet
able to do it.

I hope I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
scholarship and go to study in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
Australia. After completing my studies, with the knowledge gained and with the relationships I have, I will continue to do the unfinished and new tasks.

Firstly
, I set a goal to complete the build of
Possible spelling mistake found.
hoang
lien son biosphere Reserve, the most biodiversity area in Vietnam in the three provinces of Lao
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cai
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lai
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chau
and Yen
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bai
.

At the landscape level approach the project will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the relevant stakeholders to develop a collaborative management system for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
hoang
lien son Mountain Range within the legal framework of a “
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Man
and biosphere Reserve”.

Second:
Possible spelling mistake found.
hoang
lien
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
has
total area of 95, 904. 97 ha, inside core zone 28, 509 ha and buffer zone 67, 395. 97ha in 6 communes with over 4, 500 households, and over 25, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and distributed over 39 villages; in which, 05 villages
are located
within the core zone of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, and 14 villages
are located
adjacent to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, most households are poor. I will propose an
overall
livelihood project to develop the economy, increase
Possible spelling mistake found.
farmers&
#039; income, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
pressure on biodiversity.

Third: Tourism development in association with conservation involves the participation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
hoang
lien
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
area to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
agricultural farming activities, increase income for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
to contribute to conservation and development biodiversity.

I know that to accomplish these tasks, I will face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties and obstacles.

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
Does the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
support it?

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
budget.

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
Where is the human resource?

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
how is the participation of colleagues?

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
how is the participation of farmers?

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
The impact of climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and epidemics. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes

IELTS academic Please: - a) give up to three practical examples of how you intend to use the knowledge, skills and connections you will gain from your scholarship. Possible tasks can be personal and/or professional; andb) list any possible constraints you think may preve v. 2

Academic
  American English
13 paragraphs
312 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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