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The bar graph shows net national income (that's the income earned by the various factors of production in the economy, after the loss of used-up capital equipment has been accounted for) in per capita terms. v.2

The bar graph shows net national income (that's the income earned by the various factors of production in the economy, after the loss of used-up capital equipment has been accounted for) in per capita terms. v. 2
The bar graph illustrates the five different nations’ national income in USD per capita from 1990 to 2010. Overall, all countries’ net national income per capita has risen and among all, France had the lowest national income per capita. The highest national income per capita was dedicated to the US whereas the national income per capita for the rest of countries reached about the similar level by 2010 except for France. The US had the highest national income per capita in 1990 despite the income level was reached at about $28, 000 per capita which increased substantially to more than $35, 000 per capita by 2000. Meanwhile, the UK had about $22, 000 national income per capita in 1990 which increased by about $4, 000 per capita in 2000. By 2010, the US national income per capita remained at its dominant rate of about $36, 000 income per capita whereas the UK increased its national income per capita to close to $28, 000 by 2010. In contrast, the rest of countries started at similar level of above $15, 000 income per capita except for Germany which recorded at close to $20, 000 income in 1990. Ten years later, the national income increased drastically where it reached at well over $20, 000 income per capita for France and $25, 000 per capita for Netherlands whereas German’s national income grew slightly just over $20, 000 per capita. This incremental trend continued until 2010, Germany and Netherlands reached at similar income per capita of above $25, 000 per capita whereas France reached at below $25, 000 income per capita.
The bar graph illustrates the five
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different
nations’
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national
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income
in USD per capita from 1990 to 2010.

Overall
, all countries’ net
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national
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income
per capita has risen and among all, France had the lowest
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national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
per capita. The highest
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national
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income
per capita
was dedicated
to the US whereas the
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national
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income
per capita for the rest of countries
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reached
about the similar level by 2010
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
France.

The US had the highest
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national
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income
per capita in 1990 despite the
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income
level was
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reached
at about $28, 000 per capita which
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increased
substantially
to more than $35, 000 per capita by 2000. Meanwhile, the UK had about $22, 000
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national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
per capita in 1990 which
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increased
by about $4, 000 per capita in 2000. By 2010, the US
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
per capita remained at its dominant rate of about $36, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
per capita whereas the UK
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increased
its
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national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
per capita to close to $28, 000 by 2010.

In contrast
, the rest of countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at similar level of above $15, 000
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income
per capita
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
Germany which recorded at close to $20, 000
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income
in 1990. Ten years later, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
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increased
drastically
where it
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reached
at well over $20, 000
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income
per capita for France and $25, 000 per capita
A determiner is probably missing here: "for the Netherlands".
for Netherlands
whereas German’s
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national
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income
grew
slightly
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just
over $20, 000 per capita. This incremental trend continued until 2010, Germany and Netherlands
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reached
at similar
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income
per capita of above $25, 000 per capita whereas France
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reached
at below $25, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
per capita.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic The bar graph shows net national income (that's the income earned by the various factors of production in the economy, after the loss of used-up capital equipment has been accounted for) in per capita terms. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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