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The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. v.4

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. v. 4
The map illustrates the changes on an island after the construction of some tourist facilities. Generally speaking, the island was deserted as no tourists facility was there, but after the renovation, tourist amenities like the pier, restaurant, several accommodations, reception on the island, roads etc. made it tourists friendly. The first map shows nothing on the island except some trees but the second map illustrates the changes after the construction of facilities. A pier for the boats to land could be seen and from there, a vehicle track leads to the reception area and then the restaurant. Vehicle track ends near the restaurant and the footpath leads tourists to the accommodation areas and to the beach. Residential areas are located on both sides of the reception with footpath connecting them. It is worth noticing that no woodcutting took place as trees are present in both maps. On the left side of the reception, the residential area is connected to the beach via the footpath. Swimming facility is available there as well. To summarise, the map summarises that a deserted island had been turned into a tourist spot for the recreation and amusement of people without destroying natural beauty.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
map
illustrates the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
on an
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island
after the construction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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tourist
facilities.
Generally
speaking, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
was deserted
as no
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "tourists'" or "tourist's"?
tourists
facility was there,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after the renovation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
amenities like the pier, restaurant, several accommodations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reception
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
, roads etc. made it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
friendly.

The
first
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map
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
nothing on the
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island
except
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
map
illustrates the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
after the construction of facilities. A pier for the boats to land could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
and from there, a vehicle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
leads to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reception
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and then the restaurant. Vehicle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
ends near the restaurant and the footpath leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to the accommodation
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areas
and to the beach. Residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are located
on both sides of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reception
with footpath connecting them.

It is worth noticing that no woodcutting took place as trees are present in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maps
. On the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reception
, the residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is connected
to the beach via the footpath. Swimming facility is available there
as well
.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
map
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarises' is British English.
summarises
that a deserted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
had
been turned
into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
spot for the recreation and amusement of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
without destroying natural beauty.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS academic The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. v. 4

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
198 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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