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The chart below shows the percentage of fatal accidents by locations in a European country. The survey was conducted in 2000. v.2

The chart below shows the percentage of fatal accidents by locations in a European country. The survey was conducted in 2000. v. 2
The provided bar graph gives information about the proportion of fatal crashes by rural and urban in a European country with speed limit in 2000 Overall, it is clear that maximum accidents noticed by the urban with low-speed limit, while, rural faced more crashes by the high-speed. As can be seen from the graph that above 70% accidents observed by the urban at 30 mph or less speed limit, in contrast, rural accounted for 22% at the same speed limit. However, fatal crashes decreased with the increasing speed limit by the urban while, rural fatal accidents went up sharply with the high-speed limit. At the speed limit 45-50 mph, a little difference noticed between rural and urban accidents, 51% and 49% respectively. Moreover, fatal crashes of rural reached at the top at above 80% at the 55 mph speed limit where, below 20% crashes had been noticed by the urban. Interestingly, at the 60 mph or higher speed limit, accidents of urban inclined while a drop was seen by rural.
The provided bar graph gives information about the proportion of
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fatal
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crashes
by
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rural
and
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urban
in a European country with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
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limit
in 2000

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that maximum
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accidents
noticed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
with low-speed
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limit
, while,
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rural
faced more
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crashes
by the high-speed.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph that above 70%
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accidents
observed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
at
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
30 mph
or less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
Possible agreement error. The noun 'limit' seems to be countable, so consider using: "limits".
limit
,
in contrast
,
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rural
accounted for 22% at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
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limit
.
However
,
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fatal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crashes
decreased with the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
while,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fatal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
went up
sharply
with the high-speed limit.

At the
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speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
45
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
-50 mph
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
difference noticed between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
, 51% and 49%
respectively
.
Moreover
,
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fatal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crashes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
reached at the top at above 80% at the
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
55 mph
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
where, below 20%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crashes
had
been noticed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
.
Interestingly
, at the
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
60 mph
or higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
inclined while a drop was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The chart below shows the percentage of fatal accidents by locations in a European country. The survey was conducted in 2000. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
170 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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