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The chart below shows the percentage change in the share of international students among university graduates in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006. v.3

The chart below shows the percentage change in the share of international students among university graduates in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006. v. 3
The bar chart compares the percentage of international graduates among various universities in eight different Canadian provinces from 2001 to 2006. Overall, the number of oversea graduates in all provinces increased over the period of 5 years. It also is clear that New Brunswick had the highest number of international graduates over the period as a whole. In 2001, New Brunswick witnessed the highest number of students coming from other countries, at approximately 7%. Nova Scotia and Quebec had the same figure and followed by new Brunswick, at 6%. In 2006, a considerable rise can be seen in the number of oversea graduates in New Brunswick and Nova Scotia, to 12% and just over 10% respectively. The figure for Quebec also rose, to approximately 8%. New Brunswick, however, remained consistently the top level of the number of international graduates. Accounting for nearly 5% in 2001, Both Alberta and BC saw an increase in the number of graduates coming from other countries, at approximately 7% in 2006. Similarly, Manitoba, Newfoundland and Labrador and Ontario accounted for a minor percentage of oversea graduates, at 3% in 2001. Those figures had risen dramatically to around 6% by 2006.
The bar chart compares the percentage of international
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graduates
among various universities in eight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Canadian provinces from 2001 to 2006.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of oversea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
in all provinces increased over the period of 5 years. It
also
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
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New
Brunswick had the highest
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number
of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
over the period as a whole.

In 2001,
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New
Brunswick witnessed the highest
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number
of students coming from other countries, at approximately 7%. Nova Scotia and Quebec had the same figure and followed by
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
new Brunswick
, at 6%. In 2006, a considerable rise can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
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number
of oversea
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graduates
in
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New
Brunswick and Nova Scotia, to 12% and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 10%
respectively
. The figure for Quebec
also
rose, to approximately 8%.
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New
Brunswick,
however
, remained
consistently
the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
top level
of the
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number
of international graduates.

Accounting for
nearly
5% in 2001, Both Alberta and BC
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
an increase in the
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number
of
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graduates
coming from other countries, at approximately 7% in 2006.
Similarly
, Manitoba, Newfoundland and Labrador and Ontario accounted for a minor percentage of oversea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
, at 3% in 2001. Those figures had risen
dramatically
to around 6% by 2006.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below shows the percentage change in the share of international students among university graduates in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006. v. 3

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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