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The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries. v.3

The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries. v. 3
The bar chart presents data about difficult issues people encounter when they try to settle abroad. The given data classifies those challenges into three main categories based on people’s age. Overall, it seems that young people in a foreign country can learn the local language easily whereas older people face fewer challenges to find a place to live in and they can make friends faster. The first challenge that people face in abroad is ‘making friends’. 46% of people whose ages range from 18 to 34 find it as the most difficult task. In contrast, only half of that proportion among the oldest age group considers it as a difficulty. On the other hand, not many young people struggle to learn a new language (only 29%) while more than 50% of people over 55 think that is a real problem (54%). Facing with the problem to find a place to live in, about 40% of the younger groups get stuck with it while it is the least challenging issue for the older people who try to settle in a foreign country.
The bar chart presents data about difficult issues
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
encounter when they try to settle abroad. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
data classifies those challenges into three main categories based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
age.
Overall
, it seems that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a foreign country can learn the local language
easily
whereas older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face fewer challenges to find a place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
in and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends faster.

The
first
challenge that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face in abroad is ‘making friends’. 46% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whose ages range from 18 to 34 find it as the most difficult task.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
half of that proportion among the oldest age group considers it as a difficulty.
On the other hand
, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
struggle to learn a new language (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
29%) while more than 50% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
over 55
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that is
a real problem (54%). Facing with the problem to find a place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in, about 40% of the younger groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
stuck with it while it is the least challenging issue for the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who try to settle in a foreign country.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries. v. 3

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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