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The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries. v.2

The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries. v. 2
The presented chart gives information on the challenges the different age groups of people face when immigrating to another country. As is presented, the three most common challenges all age groups face are making friends, finding a place to live and learning the local dialect.   The biggest difficulty the age group of people aged over 55 faces is learning the local language as compared to the other age groups, who don’t find it as difficult.   It is surprising to find that both age groups of 18-34 and 35-54 have challenges in finding a place to settle.   It is easier for the age group of over 55 to find a place to settle as they do not have to take many factors into consideration when deciding where to settle, for example, finding a place close to work, what kind of neighbourhood is good for bringing up a family, what public facilities are available in the area, access to the internet etc.   But they don’t have a hard time making friends as it is probably easier for them to do when still young. To summarise, according to this chart, it is easier to go and live in another country while you are still young rather than when you are over the age of 55 as it is more difficult for you to adapt to the new culture and customs in a new country.
The presented chart gives information on the challenges the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
face when immigrating to another country.

As
is presented
, the three most common challenges all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
face are making friends, finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and learning the local dialect.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
The biggest difficulty the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aged over 55 faces is learning the local language as compared to the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
, who don’t find it as difficult.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
It is surprising to find that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
of 18-34 and 35-54 have challenges in finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to settle.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
It is easier for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of over 55 to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to settle as they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors into consideration when deciding where to settle,
for example
, finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
close to work, what kind of
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for bringing up a family, what public facilities are available in the area, access to the internet etc.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they don’t have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time making friends as it is
probably
easier for them to do when
still
young.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, according to this chart, it is easier to go and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in another country while you are
still
young
rather
than when you are over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 55 as it is more difficult for you to adapt to the new culture and customs in a new country.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
235 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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